Forgotten Angels

"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat . . . We must find each other." -Mother Teresa

Today I experienced something I would have never expected. As much as I was to say I was prepared for this month in Ecuador I always knew that it was going to be difficult at times. Today was one of those times. Let’s forget the fact that a group of roosters who apparantly frequent our street woke me up at 5 AM. Some of the girls and I spent the first 30 minutes of the day plotting their demise for if we ever came within close enough range. Then, in a matter of 6 hours I was thrown up on, drooled on, slapped, pinched, pooped on, hugged, kissed, cuddled with, and loved. There was no way to explain the emotioanl highs and lows that I went through in such a short amount of time. As much as I wanted to be impatient and give up after the 35th diaper change before 10 AM, for some reason I found myself falling in love with 13 little angels. Both of my shifts today were spent at the CUNAS orphanage. The “cunas” are children ranging from newborns to 2 years old. Starting at 7 am the children and volunteers were on a very strict schedule. Within the first 4 hours there are 3 changing times, 2 activities, and 3 feeding times. As one of the few Spanish speakers I receive all of the directions given by the nuns and I’m held accountable for relaying everything correctly to the other colunteers and making sure it gets done. The workers in the Catholic orphanages lack sympathy for those who do not speak English. I’ve often found myself having to defend the other girls and insist that they show more patience with us. It is very difficult to find a medium between the cold and efficient methods of the native workers, and the loving but less experienced ways of the volunteers.
Stress and frustration is inevitable when you find yourself working harder than you ever have before in a country you are completely unfamiliar with. I’m blessed with the opportunity to have discovered motiviation after only the first day. While we changed diapers and played with the kids in the “sala” this morning, one of the long term volunteers started telling me stories about each individual child. To give you an idea of what kind of angels I’m spending my days with, I’ll introduce a few of the kids to you. Due to Ecuadorian law, however, the volunteers only have the opportunity to take pictures in this particular orphanage once every two weeks so I won’t have any until next week.
Juanito is the first little boy I met today. I caught him right as he was waking up and got to be the first person he set his big brown eyes on this morning. Juanito is the sweetheart of the group. At about 10 months old you can often find him sharing all of his toys with the other children and licking all of the volunteers (these are his besos, aka kisses). Because of his sweet nature and love for people around him, Juan suffers from intense separation anxiety and cannot function when he feels he is alone or unnoticed. This beautiful little baby was found when he was 2 weeks old abandoned on the side of the river. His parents will never know what they missed, but I’m so grateful that I have been given the opportunity to love this little angel.

Paul (pronounced pa-oool) is the comedian of the bunch and I also refer to him as “mi amor”, which he loves. At almost 2 years old he is bursting with personality and spends his days doing anything he can to get a laugh out of the volunteers. His hair is often slicked back and he wears a giant moviestar smile! He is credited with being the child most often placed in time out haha. He’s a hitter and a biter, but also a smooth talker. He can charm his way out of anything and after every scrath or bite he gives kissesand hugs me. Regardless of his antics, he has got to be one of my favorite little boys and he is going to take this world by storm someday  Paul Is the only true orphan in the CUNAS orphanage, meaning both of his parents have passed away. Only one month after he was born, his parents were killed in a car crash. It was heartwrenching to see a child so full of life and indoubtedly so loved by his own parents, living in an orphanage. For a brief moment I felt like I understood just a piece of what he was going through as I thought of my own Dad who never wanted to leave this Earth or me. I just wish that Paul had known his parents long enough to have remembered them. Paul is an incredible example to me and his love for life at only 2 years old is a constant reminder of how close these children are to the Savior in their mindsets. I’m so grateful for the atonement and the knowledge I have that families can be together forever.

There are so many kids in this one orphanage alone that will make an incredible impact on my world while I am in Ecuador but one little girl in particular today made me feel like I had a purpose here. She made me recognize that what I’m doing here truly matters and that’s just what I needed to find on my first day of volunteering here. The work is hard and often discouraging.

Maria Los Angeles is the oldest baby in CUNAS at 2 years old. Uniquely, she is also the smallest. Maria suffers from fetal alcohol syndrome; the result of her birth mother’s selfishness and irresponsibility. To describe her, she truly looks identical to a beautifully flawless porcelin doll. To put scale into your minds, her hands are only slightly bigger than the cap of a water bottle. I was told before I left for my shift this morning that this little girl is very independent and often keeps to herself. She has yet to mutter a single word and rarely answers yes or no questions with the movement of her head. Eye contact with her is both a rare and coveted opportunity amongst all of the volunteers and few long term volunteers can think of a time when it has happened. When I got to my shift I was informed that Maria was feeling sick already and I was given the low down on her already existing condition. Because of her birth defects, when overly stressed or during crying spouts, Maria will occasionally pass out. First day on the job, this is exactly what happened. As she slipped into her seizure-like state, I frantically ran to the bathroom and threw water onto her face to get her back. After drenching her, she came to and began to sob. The way she cries is different. There’s no sound and her face stays unusually composed. For over a half hour she lay in my arms with her eyes closed and I watched as tears streamed down her tiny cheeks. The entire time I was holding her I desperately wished that her mom could have come and comforted her. That’s when it clicked. She had never experienced the comfort of a mother.Nobody was going to come to her rescue and pick her up from “day care”. I was it. Her tiny body lying in my arms was her only comfort. Just as tears started trickling down my face, I wiped some of the tears from hers. At that exact moment she looked up and stared me straight in the eyes and held her gaze for well over a minute. It was easily one of the best moments I’ve ever had in my life. The tears continued for another half hour but she fell asleep eventually and we stayed in the corner of the “sala” in that same position for another hour until my shift ended. It’s strange after only one day to feel this way, but I would give my life for that little girl. I have fallen in love with Ecuador <3