"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier." -Mother Teresa
Who was I kidding? Of course it was going to be difficult. I went into this week just like I had the rest though. I had convinced myself that it wouldn’t happen. But it’s Wednesday now. Tomorrow afternoon I will be on a plane heading towards the Amazon Jungle and leaving everything I have known for the past month behind. Before this month there were a lot of things I didn’t know. For one, I had never been forced to live with 20 girls in one house. I had never had to rely on communication other than English. And it’s safe to say that I had never truly had another human become completely dependent on me. I will be the first to admit that it was difficult and that at times I felt like I wasn’t qualified to take on the role. However, I will also tell you that after exactly 28 days with these children, I have never loved anything more than this role. Of course I don’t know what it is like to be a mother In the universal way people interpret it, but the children I have met don’t see things the way the rest of the world does.
To the children, a mother is someone who is there when they wake up in the morning; the person who feeds them breakfast. She is the person who gives you a bath and chases after you when you decide to run out of the house completely naked. It’s the person who tells you not to climb the wall in the courtyard, but holds you while you cry after falling off of it. A mom, to them, is the one that they see every day, who plays with them, reads to them, and sings them a song just before they tuck them in to bed. In their eyes, the person who chases away the monster that frequents their dollhouse is the best mom in the world. So on my last night in Cuenca I am going to have the guts to say that for the past month, I have been a mom. The love I have for the hundreds of children I have been blessed to meet is indescribable. The most amazing part of it all is that I am the one who gained the most from this experience.
It was Dilan who taught me patience as he took off running in the nude after his bath each afternoon. It was Marcelo who taught me what family really is as he spent an entire afternoon pushing his sister’s wheelchair around while the other kids his age played soccer. After 19 years of a normal life, Deanna showed me how resilient the human spirit can be as she maintains a smile although her body slowly degenerates. Rosa, a shy little girl at an all girls orphanage in the city, showed me what it really means to love someone as we sat in the courtyard sobbing when I had to say goodbye.
There are hundreds of children here that have changed my life. When I first got on the plane heading towards Ecuador I was determined to make a difference. To be honest, whether I came here or not, the children were going to wake up, they were going to be fed, and they were going to fall asleep at night. The difference made in this month was made in me. At first I am sure that some of my less flattering qualities surfaced. The long days, short night’s rest, cold weather, and screaming babies inevitably got the best of me. Luckily, the hardest week passed and through what I have learned here I have developed qualities I am proud to have. Without a doubt, I received a crash course in Life.
I can’t remember the last time I have been so happy, so blessed, or laughed so hard in my life. But along with that in the end, I have never had to say goodbye to so many people I love at once. There is so much I wish I could say about this experience and so many stories I would love to tell everyone. To put it bluntly, nobody else could understand. Pictures, videos, and stories could never help someone else understand what it has been like for me to be with these children. The love I have for them is something I have never experienced and for the first time I truly know what it’s like to love someone more than life itself. I have no idea what I will do without them and only heaven can help me when I get on that plane headed back “home”. Milagros, Esperanza, y Alegria. There is no better way to explain this experience.
Showing posts with label Milagros. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Milagros. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
"Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite"
Just as a note to everyone, I am still alive! I am so sorry that I haven’t been making much contact with people like I should be. It is amazing to me how much my priorities have changed while I have been here. There are definitely not enough hours in a day anymore. I had an off this morning and managed to get a lot of things done. Hopefully I can catch everyone up on what has been going on here these past few days.
THURSDAY:
Last Thursday, Shanna, Brigitta, and I were able to go into town for a few hours during our off and it was so much fun! Probably irrational of me, I felt completely confident in weaving through the streets of Cuenca. Let’s be honest, could I be any whiter, taller, redheaded, or have any longer extremities in a country that is so unaccustomed to all of the above? The gawks and disgusting comments from all of the Ecuadorian men are certainty not anything I will miss when I go home. These are the only times when I truly wish I didn’t understand Spanish. It still shocks me how shameless a lot of the men here are. I feel safe, but I am still always incredibly aware of each individual person surrounding us in the streets.
As all three of us weaved in and out of the streets, we periodically went into the local stores and did our best to find things to bring home that will epitomize everything we have seen in Ecuador. We were able to find traditional clothes, handmade trinkets, our coveted headbands that we could not live here without, and beautiful paintings. We continued walking down the main street by the Catholic Cathedral and stopped into our favorite ice cream parlor for “limon helado”. We finished our adventure with an hour of movie shopping and purchased 16 American movies for 24 dollars. That is just about the best thing that could happen to a group of girls from America and it has been so nice to have movie nights after our long shifts! My favorite part of the day was going to the flower market. On our way back to the OSSO house that night we crossed the street and found ourselves surrounded by huge tents of flowers. The assortment of colors is indescribable and the smell was heavenly! Even though they were exhausted from the long day, Brigitta and Shanna were troopers as I dragged them in and out of every single tent. I loved every second of it! I have never seen anything so beautiful. Further into the cluster of tents I met a sweet little old woman who showed me the most breathtaking yellow roses I have ever seen. I spent a few minutes talking with her and she told me about how she takes a 6-hour bus ride to Quito every morning to pick up the flowers that she sells here every day. I thought about how much I loved those yellow roses and how I had only been lucky enough to have flowers when they had been given to me. Immediately I knew it was time I bought some for myself for a change! Nothing surprised me more than when the sweet little woman told me that the bouquet was $1. ONE DOLLAR! I was so excited that I asked her if she would take a picture with me, which she agreed to without hesitation. I walked the rest of the way home carrying my bouquet of flawless yellow roses. Best dollar I have ever spent!
FRIDAY:
I am sure I say this a lot, but Friday was one of the best days I have had here so far. I woke up at 6 a.m. as usual for my morning shift and took the 25 minute bus ride that winds through Cuenca to the OSSO special needs orphanage. When I walked into “Casa Esperanza” one of the little boys, Christian, was in the doorway screaming “CABALLOS! CABALLOS! CABALLOS”! I had forgotten that it was Friday. Every Friday, the Military Base in Cuenca allows a group of kids from the OSSO orphanage to come and ride horses as part of their required service hours. I had never gone so I was just as excited as kids. The base is about a mile away so after we fed them breakfast and bathed each of them, we all grabbed a wheel chair and made our way to “caballos”. When we arrived, all of the military men were so kind and happy to see the kids. They sat us in the bleachers of the arena and we watched as the kids took turns riding on the horses. All of the volunteers were paired with the child that they brought and we rode on the horse with each of them, holding them to ensure that they didn’t fall off. I was paired with my little Eddie. Eddie is about 10 years old and has cerebral palsy. Cerebral Palsy is obviously a “blanket statement” made for most of the kids at OSSO because they are all very unique in their symptoms and functioning capabilites. Eddie has no obvious way of communication and cannot get from one place to another without sitting in his wheel chair, but that boy sure can smile! He can light up a room in an instant and if you chant his name again, getting louder each time, you can get him to bust up laughing! It was so sweet to ride the horse with him and see him so happy. He absolutely loved it and even though he couldn’t tell me that, there was nothing that was going to wipe that smile off of his face! One after another the kids and volunteers rode the horses around the arena and it seemed that the smiles got bigger as each person went. It was just another reminder for me that these amazing kids really do understand the things that are going on around them and they feel things just like we do. Definitely a morning I will always remember.
SATURDAY:
Saturday was my half-way mark and that thought was lingering in my mind all day. I spent Saturday morning in Milagros, which is one of my favorite groups of kids that I work with. Laurita and Martin are some of the higher functioning children at the orphanage and it is so fun to interact with them. Laurita is adorable and can understand everything that we say in Spanish and responds with body language, a few words of Spanish, or distinct noises. Her smile is irresistable and her laugh is contagious! Her favorite things are cuddling, coloring, calling you crazy in sign language, and giving you “besitos” (little kisses). On Saturday she saw some of the bed bug bites covering my body from the night before and she insisted that she kiss every single one. I truly love this little girl.
Martin is a 12 year old little boy in “Casa Milagros” that is more capable of communicating with the volunteers. He is so incredibly intelligent. He spends most of the time in his wheelchair but during his therapies, he can walk if we help support him in his laps around the orphanage. Martin speaks a few decipherable grunts of Spanish but understands Spanish and English in their entirety. He has learned English from all of the volunteers that he has met and it is hilarious communicating with him. We always tease him and he communicates with us with his own little way of playing “charades”. After you spend a lot of time with him you better understand each of the gestures that he does, but occasionally you are thrown into a random guessing game. Sometimes I have no clue what he is getting at and after guessing 10 different things, he will shake his head in frustration. That is when the game becomes the most fun because I start guessing things that are completely farfetched and end by saying things like “OOOOOOH you love me?”…..”You want to be my boyfriend”…..”We’re eloping before I leave?!” He rolls his eyes, but I always get him to crack a smile! I will miss the soccer games, arm wrestling tournaments, and Michael Jackson dance parties with this little boy. Even after only a month, I can’t imagine what life without seeing him every day will be like.
My second shift on Saturday was at “Casas” or more familiarly known as the Ecuadorian Mafia. They were crazy as always but I have grown to love the insanity. I love being able to speak Spanish with them and they are so funny. I got a glimpse of the more unappealing aspects of parenting during the shift though. During the last hour of the shift I was getting all of the boys ready for bed and it was time for all of them to brush their teeth. I gave each of them their toothbrushes and toothpaste and when they finished I asked for all of the brushes back. Well, these kids LOVE their toothbrushes and think of toothpaste as candy. Dillon, who is 4 years old, decided that he didn’t want to give his back. I gave him the best “mom look” I could muster and asked him one more time to please give it back to me. He looked straight at me and SPIT IN MY FACE!!! Without even a second thought I grabbed him and calmly said only 2 words before I let the silence do the rest. “CASA SOLO”. I put him in his room and locked the door. I was furious at first, but it took everything I had to not laugh as I passed by his window and saw his chubby little cheeks pushed up tightly against the glass and heard him faintly repeating “Lo siento. Lo siento. Lo siento.” Haha I love those little monsters with all my heart. They have definitely taught me patience and how to stand up for myself when it comes to discipline.
After all of the volunteers had come home from shift, the OSSO cook was waiting to teach us how to make Empanadas! Let’s just say that they were amazing and I can’t wait to make them when I get home! Catalina was so patient with all of us and it was so fun taking a break from everything and spending time with all of the girls.
SUNDAY:
I was lucky enough to get a church shift this past Sunday! I was given the option of 10 a.m. church so the bus took us to morning shift as usual at 7 a.m. but it came back to pick a few of us up at 9:30 a.m. and drove us to church. We only got to stay for Sacrament Meeting but it was still worth going! The frist half of my morning shift was in CUNAS with the babies so I smelled of diarrhea, diaper cream, and baby wipes without a doubt when I walked in but the ward in Cuenca has come to expect that out of the OSSO volunteers at this point. We walked in the building with just barely enough time to change into our church clothes and find a seat. It was so humbling to walk in, look around, and notice that the full head count of the ward totaled less than 30 members. The faith of the people in the Gospel here is incredible. One by one, the members shared their testimonies at the pulpit and the spirit they brought with them was so strong. There could have been no greater proof of the truthfulness of the Gospel than to travel halfway across the world only to find such a familiar place.
A single moment in my afternoon shift is one that has changed my perspective forever. It was the kind of experience that I was hoping to have even back when I started planning this trip. I was working in Esperanza that afternoon and it was time for all of the kids to be taken outside for a few hours. Every day when we take the kids outside, we take turns taking each of the kids on a walk around the orphanage in their wheel chairs. A few of the kids in particular like to stop at the front gate for a few minutes and peek out at the cars that pass by in the street. I decided to take Vanessa for a walk for a few minutes. Vanessa is about 9 years old and for the most part, is completely unresponsive to things going on around her. She spends every day being supported by her wheel chair and constantly moves her head from side to side. It is fairly hard to get any kind of connection with her since eye contact or a smile is so rare from her. Contrary to her usual brief route around the orphanage, Sunday afternoon I decided I was going to stop at the gate. I propped her up in her chair and made sure she was facing the street. I sat down on a curb right in front of her. Knowing there was no way she was going to understand what I was saying, I just started talking to her in English. I told her everything. I talked to her about things that have been bothering me, people back at home, important moments in my life, and basically anything I wanted to get off of my chest. At one point I started telling her how tired I was and how hard some of the days are here. I was feeling completely inadequate. At that moment I looked up at her and I caught HER gaze. Her head was perfectly still and her eyes were staring straight at me.
Vanessa is a unique little girl at the orphanage. She was born a beautiful, healthy little girl. Through years of horrible abuse, the trauma took a toll on Vanessa’s spirit and she will never function the same way again. Although the damage has been done, there is a little girl in there that knows exactly what it’s like to be “normal”. We only made eye contact for about 20 seconds, but that was enough to bring me to tears. That was the connection I had been waiting for with her. The odds of that happening again are so slim, but it only took once for me to fall in love with her. I cannot even imagine all that Vanessa has gone through in her life. One thing I know is that she wasn’t put on this Earth to learn something. She was put here to teach others; more specifically, to teach me. I am so grateful that I was given the opportunity to see how much she has to offer before it was too late. I have realized how little time I have left here and there is so much more I have to learn from these kids before I get on that plane in two weeks.
MONDAY: (almost caught up)
Sunday I woke up to 27 bug bites. BED bug bites. I could lie and say that I was cool, calm and collected, but let’s be honest….BUGS WERE CRAWLING ALL OVER ME WHILE I WAS SLEEPING. It doesn’t get sketchier than that! I am the only girl that hasn't gotten sick and thrown up while I have been in Ecuador so I suppose it was only a matter of time before something unfortunate happened to me. I would much rather have bug bites than be sick here. I never had the chicken pox when I was little, but I imagine that it would have been a lot like this. I am itchy all over! Unfortunately there are a lot of things you have to do to get rid of them. You have to strip your bed, wash your sheets, do all your laundry, and spray your mattress. Unfortunately I had to wait to do all of this because when you spray your mattress you have to leave the room for 2-3 hours. That meant I had to sleep one more night in a bed-bed-infested bed. I prepped myself for the inevitable bites but still took preventative measures. I put on long pants andI tucked them into my socks. I even wore a sweatshirt tucked into my sweatpants and pulled the strings on my sweatshirt tightly enough to only leave a small hole in the center for oxygen. The other girls will attest to the fact that I looked ridiculous. Just as we were all going to bed I clumsily knocked the bed bug spray on the ground and some of it spilled on the carpet. Well, in case you’re wondering, bed bug spray smells like gasoline. It had been a long day and we weren’t about to leave our room for 2-3 hours so we decided to just suck it up and go to bed. It smelled so awful and it was hard to breathe (even harder with the get-up I was wearing). I was pretty convinced that we were going to die so I woke up every 2 hours to check and make sure all of my roommates were still breathing. I wish I was kidding. We ultimately all survived and I discovered a dozen more bites in the morning. Luckily I was able to spray my mattress the next day and I am now bed-bug free!!!
TODAY (Tuesday):
Today was a great day! I had a much needed off this morning. I got to sleep in until 8:30, talk to my mom, pay some bills online, and do all my laundry. This afternoon I had a shift in Alegria with all of the little toddlers at the OSSO special needs orphanage. I have only been scheduled there a few times, but I love it there. The kids are so full of life and they absolutely love being with the volunteers. One of the little boys caught me off guard today though. We were all sitting in circle reading books and Christian, who has Autism, was sitting on my lap. As I was reading to him he looked up and said, “Mommy, mommy, mira!” He was pointing at a picture of a dog in the book and trying to not act surprised, just acknowledged it and turned the page. Throughout the rest of the shift, whenever he sat with me or wanted my attention he would call me “mommy”. I kept trying to dance around it and kept referencing myself as his friend. Finally I went to the worker and asked how I should react to it. She told me to answer to Mommy. She could tell I was confused and continued to tell me that the kids at OSSO don’t think of Mom’s as the people that gave birth to them. The children call someone mommy when they feel that they have become a mom. She told me that I should love it when one of the children calls me mommy, because that means they feel that I have become that in their lives. It’s so strange for me to accept that at only 20. As I left tonight, Christian gave me a hug and a kiss and said, “Chao Mommy”. I left before he could see that I had started to cry. How can I ever get on that plane going home?
THURSDAY:
Last Thursday, Shanna, Brigitta, and I were able to go into town for a few hours during our off and it was so much fun! Probably irrational of me, I felt completely confident in weaving through the streets of Cuenca. Let’s be honest, could I be any whiter, taller, redheaded, or have any longer extremities in a country that is so unaccustomed to all of the above? The gawks and disgusting comments from all of the Ecuadorian men are certainty not anything I will miss when I go home. These are the only times when I truly wish I didn’t understand Spanish. It still shocks me how shameless a lot of the men here are. I feel safe, but I am still always incredibly aware of each individual person surrounding us in the streets.
As all three of us weaved in and out of the streets, we periodically went into the local stores and did our best to find things to bring home that will epitomize everything we have seen in Ecuador. We were able to find traditional clothes, handmade trinkets, our coveted headbands that we could not live here without, and beautiful paintings. We continued walking down the main street by the Catholic Cathedral and stopped into our favorite ice cream parlor for “limon helado”. We finished our adventure with an hour of movie shopping and purchased 16 American movies for 24 dollars. That is just about the best thing that could happen to a group of girls from America and it has been so nice to have movie nights after our long shifts! My favorite part of the day was going to the flower market. On our way back to the OSSO house that night we crossed the street and found ourselves surrounded by huge tents of flowers. The assortment of colors is indescribable and the smell was heavenly! Even though they were exhausted from the long day, Brigitta and Shanna were troopers as I dragged them in and out of every single tent. I loved every second of it! I have never seen anything so beautiful. Further into the cluster of tents I met a sweet little old woman who showed me the most breathtaking yellow roses I have ever seen. I spent a few minutes talking with her and she told me about how she takes a 6-hour bus ride to Quito every morning to pick up the flowers that she sells here every day. I thought about how much I loved those yellow roses and how I had only been lucky enough to have flowers when they had been given to me. Immediately I knew it was time I bought some for myself for a change! Nothing surprised me more than when the sweet little woman told me that the bouquet was $1. ONE DOLLAR! I was so excited that I asked her if she would take a picture with me, which she agreed to without hesitation. I walked the rest of the way home carrying my bouquet of flawless yellow roses. Best dollar I have ever spent!
FRIDAY:
I am sure I say this a lot, but Friday was one of the best days I have had here so far. I woke up at 6 a.m. as usual for my morning shift and took the 25 minute bus ride that winds through Cuenca to the OSSO special needs orphanage. When I walked into “Casa Esperanza” one of the little boys, Christian, was in the doorway screaming “CABALLOS! CABALLOS! CABALLOS”! I had forgotten that it was Friday. Every Friday, the Military Base in Cuenca allows a group of kids from the OSSO orphanage to come and ride horses as part of their required service hours. I had never gone so I was just as excited as kids. The base is about a mile away so after we fed them breakfast and bathed each of them, we all grabbed a wheel chair and made our way to “caballos”. When we arrived, all of the military men were so kind and happy to see the kids. They sat us in the bleachers of the arena and we watched as the kids took turns riding on the horses. All of the volunteers were paired with the child that they brought and we rode on the horse with each of them, holding them to ensure that they didn’t fall off. I was paired with my little Eddie. Eddie is about 10 years old and has cerebral palsy. Cerebral Palsy is obviously a “blanket statement” made for most of the kids at OSSO because they are all very unique in their symptoms and functioning capabilites. Eddie has no obvious way of communication and cannot get from one place to another without sitting in his wheel chair, but that boy sure can smile! He can light up a room in an instant and if you chant his name again, getting louder each time, you can get him to bust up laughing! It was so sweet to ride the horse with him and see him so happy. He absolutely loved it and even though he couldn’t tell me that, there was nothing that was going to wipe that smile off of his face! One after another the kids and volunteers rode the horses around the arena and it seemed that the smiles got bigger as each person went. It was just another reminder for me that these amazing kids really do understand the things that are going on around them and they feel things just like we do. Definitely a morning I will always remember.
SATURDAY:
Saturday was my half-way mark and that thought was lingering in my mind all day. I spent Saturday morning in Milagros, which is one of my favorite groups of kids that I work with. Laurita and Martin are some of the higher functioning children at the orphanage and it is so fun to interact with them. Laurita is adorable and can understand everything that we say in Spanish and responds with body language, a few words of Spanish, or distinct noises. Her smile is irresistable and her laugh is contagious! Her favorite things are cuddling, coloring, calling you crazy in sign language, and giving you “besitos” (little kisses). On Saturday she saw some of the bed bug bites covering my body from the night before and she insisted that she kiss every single one. I truly love this little girl.
Martin is a 12 year old little boy in “Casa Milagros” that is more capable of communicating with the volunteers. He is so incredibly intelligent. He spends most of the time in his wheelchair but during his therapies, he can walk if we help support him in his laps around the orphanage. Martin speaks a few decipherable grunts of Spanish but understands Spanish and English in their entirety. He has learned English from all of the volunteers that he has met and it is hilarious communicating with him. We always tease him and he communicates with us with his own little way of playing “charades”. After you spend a lot of time with him you better understand each of the gestures that he does, but occasionally you are thrown into a random guessing game. Sometimes I have no clue what he is getting at and after guessing 10 different things, he will shake his head in frustration. That is when the game becomes the most fun because I start guessing things that are completely farfetched and end by saying things like “OOOOOOH you love me?”…..”You want to be my boyfriend”…..”We’re eloping before I leave?!” He rolls his eyes, but I always get him to crack a smile! I will miss the soccer games, arm wrestling tournaments, and Michael Jackson dance parties with this little boy. Even after only a month, I can’t imagine what life without seeing him every day will be like.
My second shift on Saturday was at “Casas” or more familiarly known as the Ecuadorian Mafia. They were crazy as always but I have grown to love the insanity. I love being able to speak Spanish with them and they are so funny. I got a glimpse of the more unappealing aspects of parenting during the shift though. During the last hour of the shift I was getting all of the boys ready for bed and it was time for all of them to brush their teeth. I gave each of them their toothbrushes and toothpaste and when they finished I asked for all of the brushes back. Well, these kids LOVE their toothbrushes and think of toothpaste as candy. Dillon, who is 4 years old, decided that he didn’t want to give his back. I gave him the best “mom look” I could muster and asked him one more time to please give it back to me. He looked straight at me and SPIT IN MY FACE!!! Without even a second thought I grabbed him and calmly said only 2 words before I let the silence do the rest. “CASA SOLO”. I put him in his room and locked the door. I was furious at first, but it took everything I had to not laugh as I passed by his window and saw his chubby little cheeks pushed up tightly against the glass and heard him faintly repeating “Lo siento. Lo siento. Lo siento.” Haha I love those little monsters with all my heart. They have definitely taught me patience and how to stand up for myself when it comes to discipline.
After all of the volunteers had come home from shift, the OSSO cook was waiting to teach us how to make Empanadas! Let’s just say that they were amazing and I can’t wait to make them when I get home! Catalina was so patient with all of us and it was so fun taking a break from everything and spending time with all of the girls.
SUNDAY:
I was lucky enough to get a church shift this past Sunday! I was given the option of 10 a.m. church so the bus took us to morning shift as usual at 7 a.m. but it came back to pick a few of us up at 9:30 a.m. and drove us to church. We only got to stay for Sacrament Meeting but it was still worth going! The frist half of my morning shift was in CUNAS with the babies so I smelled of diarrhea, diaper cream, and baby wipes without a doubt when I walked in but the ward in Cuenca has come to expect that out of the OSSO volunteers at this point. We walked in the building with just barely enough time to change into our church clothes and find a seat. It was so humbling to walk in, look around, and notice that the full head count of the ward totaled less than 30 members. The faith of the people in the Gospel here is incredible. One by one, the members shared their testimonies at the pulpit and the spirit they brought with them was so strong. There could have been no greater proof of the truthfulness of the Gospel than to travel halfway across the world only to find such a familiar place.
A single moment in my afternoon shift is one that has changed my perspective forever. It was the kind of experience that I was hoping to have even back when I started planning this trip. I was working in Esperanza that afternoon and it was time for all of the kids to be taken outside for a few hours. Every day when we take the kids outside, we take turns taking each of the kids on a walk around the orphanage in their wheel chairs. A few of the kids in particular like to stop at the front gate for a few minutes and peek out at the cars that pass by in the street. I decided to take Vanessa for a walk for a few minutes. Vanessa is about 9 years old and for the most part, is completely unresponsive to things going on around her. She spends every day being supported by her wheel chair and constantly moves her head from side to side. It is fairly hard to get any kind of connection with her since eye contact or a smile is so rare from her. Contrary to her usual brief route around the orphanage, Sunday afternoon I decided I was going to stop at the gate. I propped her up in her chair and made sure she was facing the street. I sat down on a curb right in front of her. Knowing there was no way she was going to understand what I was saying, I just started talking to her in English. I told her everything. I talked to her about things that have been bothering me, people back at home, important moments in my life, and basically anything I wanted to get off of my chest. At one point I started telling her how tired I was and how hard some of the days are here. I was feeling completely inadequate. At that moment I looked up at her and I caught HER gaze. Her head was perfectly still and her eyes were staring straight at me.
Vanessa is a unique little girl at the orphanage. She was born a beautiful, healthy little girl. Through years of horrible abuse, the trauma took a toll on Vanessa’s spirit and she will never function the same way again. Although the damage has been done, there is a little girl in there that knows exactly what it’s like to be “normal”. We only made eye contact for about 20 seconds, but that was enough to bring me to tears. That was the connection I had been waiting for with her. The odds of that happening again are so slim, but it only took once for me to fall in love with her. I cannot even imagine all that Vanessa has gone through in her life. One thing I know is that she wasn’t put on this Earth to learn something. She was put here to teach others; more specifically, to teach me. I am so grateful that I was given the opportunity to see how much she has to offer before it was too late. I have realized how little time I have left here and there is so much more I have to learn from these kids before I get on that plane in two weeks.
MONDAY: (almost caught up)
Sunday I woke up to 27 bug bites. BED bug bites. I could lie and say that I was cool, calm and collected, but let’s be honest….BUGS WERE CRAWLING ALL OVER ME WHILE I WAS SLEEPING. It doesn’t get sketchier than that! I am the only girl that hasn't gotten sick and thrown up while I have been in Ecuador so I suppose it was only a matter of time before something unfortunate happened to me. I would much rather have bug bites than be sick here. I never had the chicken pox when I was little, but I imagine that it would have been a lot like this. I am itchy all over! Unfortunately there are a lot of things you have to do to get rid of them. You have to strip your bed, wash your sheets, do all your laundry, and spray your mattress. Unfortunately I had to wait to do all of this because when you spray your mattress you have to leave the room for 2-3 hours. That meant I had to sleep one more night in a bed-bed-infested bed. I prepped myself for the inevitable bites but still took preventative measures. I put on long pants andI tucked them into my socks. I even wore a sweatshirt tucked into my sweatpants and pulled the strings on my sweatshirt tightly enough to only leave a small hole in the center for oxygen. The other girls will attest to the fact that I looked ridiculous. Just as we were all going to bed I clumsily knocked the bed bug spray on the ground and some of it spilled on the carpet. Well, in case you’re wondering, bed bug spray smells like gasoline. It had been a long day and we weren’t about to leave our room for 2-3 hours so we decided to just suck it up and go to bed. It smelled so awful and it was hard to breathe (even harder with the get-up I was wearing). I was pretty convinced that we were going to die so I woke up every 2 hours to check and make sure all of my roommates were still breathing. I wish I was kidding. We ultimately all survived and I discovered a dozen more bites in the morning. Luckily I was able to spray my mattress the next day and I am now bed-bug free!!!
TODAY (Tuesday):
Today was a great day! I had a much needed off this morning. I got to sleep in until 8:30, talk to my mom, pay some bills online, and do all my laundry. This afternoon I had a shift in Alegria with all of the little toddlers at the OSSO special needs orphanage. I have only been scheduled there a few times, but I love it there. The kids are so full of life and they absolutely love being with the volunteers. One of the little boys caught me off guard today though. We were all sitting in circle reading books and Christian, who has Autism, was sitting on my lap. As I was reading to him he looked up and said, “Mommy, mommy, mira!” He was pointing at a picture of a dog in the book and trying to not act surprised, just acknowledged it and turned the page. Throughout the rest of the shift, whenever he sat with me or wanted my attention he would call me “mommy”. I kept trying to dance around it and kept referencing myself as his friend. Finally I went to the worker and asked how I should react to it. She told me to answer to Mommy. She could tell I was confused and continued to tell me that the kids at OSSO don’t think of Mom’s as the people that gave birth to them. The children call someone mommy when they feel that they have become a mom. She told me that I should love it when one of the children calls me mommy, because that means they feel that I have become that in their lives. It’s so strange for me to accept that at only 20. As I left tonight, Christian gave me a hug and a kiss and said, “Chao Mommy”. I left before he could see that I had started to cry. How can I ever get on that plane going home?
Monday, June 20, 2011
Catholic Nuns and Nudists
"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it." -Bill Cosby
The infamous rooster woke me up bright and early again today. For some reason I feel that Ecuadorian roosters are far more persistant and much louder than the few I’ve come in contact with in the United States. However; my knowledge of farm animals is pretty minimal. Other than spending my extra hour in the morning figuring out how to get rid of “el diablo”, I have now turned to more worthwhile activities. Making legitimate breakfasts, doing laundry, writing in my journal, and maybe even taking a morning run have made the list so far. Until that rooster meets his match, I will be incredibly productive. :)
Today was the longest day I have had here so far. Not because it was unbearable by any means. I mean it was the longest day as in a time’s sense. I had two shifts as usual, as well as a site visit to an all girls orphanage immediately after my afternoon shift. My morning shift was in CASAS, which houses the children ages 3-9 in the Catholic orphanage. I felt pretty confident going into it, but yet again because I know Spanish and some of the trainers have been sick, I was left alone on my first shift on new territory. I had heard horror stories up until now about the kids having a tendency to mock the volunteers. I recognized right away that this was because most of the volunteers can’t understand what the kids are saying and therefore, can’t tease back. Within the first hour I not only mastered this skill, but also scolded someone in Spanish, and can I just say…IT WAS INVIGORATING! Haha I had always seen and heard people speaking angrily in Spanish on telenovelas at home when I would flip through channels and usually thought to myself how much more intense these heated arguments sound in another language. So today, I had the opportunity to “live the dream” ;). In CASAS there are seven kids. Thank goodness the two 8 and 9-year old boys go to school in the morning. The ten minutes they were there before school started was a nightmare! They are very much so the ring leaders of an incredibly energetic circus! After they went to school, I was left with 5. To set the scene of my own personal telenovela, please imagine me trying to get everyone ready for their baths in a small room after they were given their “papilla” (snack) that was jam-packed with sugar. Then imagine an overcast sky with temperatures well below warm. At this point I have a naked little Ecuadorian boy who sees a bird, leaps over the fence, and chases it all throughout the garden and playground in the center of the CATHOLIC orphanage. Did I mention that the nuns had just arrived in a prestinely sophisticated single-file line as Dilon streaked by? No big deal. I’m pretty sure I lost all validity as a useful “tia” at that point. Let’s be honest, I was holding back a huge smile and laughter like you wouldn’t believe when I saw everything unfold. Be impressed by the fact that I managed to keep a straight face and a stern tone when I said something my mom always told me when I was a little girl…”TE HAS PERDIDO TU MENTE?” (yes, Dilon had lost his mind). All in all, the whole fiasco ended with the little nudist running hom, empty-handed, and almost in tears because it was so cold!! OH what a morning! haha.
The rest of the shift at CASAS was pretty hectic, but we managed to get everything done that we needed to. Afterwards, all of the volunteers left their individual sights and went back to the OSSO house for lunch. Lunch is the only meal that Catalina, the cook, makes for us and it always makes me smile. No matter what she serves, rice is ALWAYS included. Yesterday we were given “papas fritas” (french fries) with a side of rice. It couldn’t get anymore random, but I love it! Following lunch, I was able to take a much needed 30 minute nap before we left again for the afternoon shift. My 2nd shift was in Milagros for the second time with the special needs children. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this orphanage. In such a short period of time I have become so close with all of them, even if only 2 of them are able to truly respond and communicate with me. We spent most of the time outside in the sun and I was able to take both Martin and Laurita into the PT room and do their therapies. We do therapies with each individual special needs child based on the capabilities of their limbs. Martin and Laurita both get out of their wheel chairs and use their arm strength to pull themselves up a wooden slide and pull themselves from one side of the room to other while clinging to ballet bars. They did so well today and I couldn’t believe how excited they got when they hit their hands on the wall at the top of the slide. I kept saying “Muestrame tu sonrisa!” and they would show me their biggest smiles. It was such a great day, but even the best days take a toll on you here. Near the end of my second shift I was completely drained and I still had to feed the kids dinner, brush their teeth, and put them in their pajamas. I was trying to find even the smallest victories in the last few tasks of the day so that I could keep myself going. During dinner there is one boy that I have to help more than the others. He struggles with basic motor skills so our biggest battle is just to keep him using his spoon and doing his best to get it even remotely close to his mouth. We put his small plate in a large bowl and hold it in order to contain most of the mess, but almost every time, he manages to flip the bowl and get it all over himself and the volunteer. After he finished the majority of his food this time, I was so proud of Jorge because although he was messy as usual, he hadn’t let his bowl topple to the ground and my white shirt was in prestine condition! I was so happy that I was cheering him on and telling him how fantastic he did as I spoon-fed the last few bites to him. He was so excited that he surprised me with a huge hug and smeared his messy face all across my shirt. I stood their completely shocked and everyone waited for my reaction in silence. I burst out laughing! Just when I thought I needed to be cut a break, I was given the exact opposite and it actually turned out to be a blessing! All of these kids constantly remind me of what really matters and the patience that I have learned here has already changed me for the better! I love it here :)
On our way out of Milagros tonight I had a chance to say goodnight to all of the kids and cuddle with Laurita as Martin told me about his girlfriend who he described to me as having blue skin? My goal is to have a movie night and show him Avatar before we leave! Haha they say the funniest things sometimes. From Milagros, we got on a bus and went directly to the other side of the city to HML which is an all-girls orphanage. We visit this orphanage every Monday and Thursday night and just do an activity with the girls for an hour or so. This was my frist time there and I spent the hour with Rosa and Rosita. These little girls were so full of life and so happy to see us. They don’t have an opportunity to interact with girls near their age or volunteers in general other than our bi-weekly visits. They are in a much poorer area and lack the kind of attention that we are able to give so easily to the other orphanages that our closer to us. I am so grateful for the ability I have to communicate with these girls in Spanish. Some days I truly don’t even know where I learned to speak the way I have been speaking here. At times I even say things I don’t ever remember learning in school, but I am able to be closer to the kids because of it. I would label today as the best day yet and I’m so looking forward to visiting more of the orphanages in the next few weeks and becoming more comfortable in the ones I have already had the opportunity to spend time in. For now, Buenas Noches :)
The infamous rooster woke me up bright and early again today. For some reason I feel that Ecuadorian roosters are far more persistant and much louder than the few I’ve come in contact with in the United States. However; my knowledge of farm animals is pretty minimal. Other than spending my extra hour in the morning figuring out how to get rid of “el diablo”, I have now turned to more worthwhile activities. Making legitimate breakfasts, doing laundry, writing in my journal, and maybe even taking a morning run have made the list so far. Until that rooster meets his match, I will be incredibly productive. :)
Today was the longest day I have had here so far. Not because it was unbearable by any means. I mean it was the longest day as in a time’s sense. I had two shifts as usual, as well as a site visit to an all girls orphanage immediately after my afternoon shift. My morning shift was in CASAS, which houses the children ages 3-9 in the Catholic orphanage. I felt pretty confident going into it, but yet again because I know Spanish and some of the trainers have been sick, I was left alone on my first shift on new territory. I had heard horror stories up until now about the kids having a tendency to mock the volunteers. I recognized right away that this was because most of the volunteers can’t understand what the kids are saying and therefore, can’t tease back. Within the first hour I not only mastered this skill, but also scolded someone in Spanish, and can I just say…IT WAS INVIGORATING! Haha I had always seen and heard people speaking angrily in Spanish on telenovelas at home when I would flip through channels and usually thought to myself how much more intense these heated arguments sound in another language. So today, I had the opportunity to “live the dream” ;). In CASAS there are seven kids. Thank goodness the two 8 and 9-year old boys go to school in the morning. The ten minutes they were there before school started was a nightmare! They are very much so the ring leaders of an incredibly energetic circus! After they went to school, I was left with 5. To set the scene of my own personal telenovela, please imagine me trying to get everyone ready for their baths in a small room after they were given their “papilla” (snack) that was jam-packed with sugar. Then imagine an overcast sky with temperatures well below warm. At this point I have a naked little Ecuadorian boy who sees a bird, leaps over the fence, and chases it all throughout the garden and playground in the center of the CATHOLIC orphanage. Did I mention that the nuns had just arrived in a prestinely sophisticated single-file line as Dilon streaked by? No big deal. I’m pretty sure I lost all validity as a useful “tia” at that point. Let’s be honest, I was holding back a huge smile and laughter like you wouldn’t believe when I saw everything unfold. Be impressed by the fact that I managed to keep a straight face and a stern tone when I said something my mom always told me when I was a little girl…”TE HAS PERDIDO TU MENTE?” (yes, Dilon had lost his mind). All in all, the whole fiasco ended with the little nudist running hom, empty-handed, and almost in tears because it was so cold!! OH what a morning! haha.
The rest of the shift at CASAS was pretty hectic, but we managed to get everything done that we needed to. Afterwards, all of the volunteers left their individual sights and went back to the OSSO house for lunch. Lunch is the only meal that Catalina, the cook, makes for us and it always makes me smile. No matter what she serves, rice is ALWAYS included. Yesterday we were given “papas fritas” (french fries) with a side of rice. It couldn’t get anymore random, but I love it! Following lunch, I was able to take a much needed 30 minute nap before we left again for the afternoon shift. My 2nd shift was in Milagros for the second time with the special needs children. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this orphanage. In such a short period of time I have become so close with all of them, even if only 2 of them are able to truly respond and communicate with me. We spent most of the time outside in the sun and I was able to take both Martin and Laurita into the PT room and do their therapies. We do therapies with each individual special needs child based on the capabilities of their limbs. Martin and Laurita both get out of their wheel chairs and use their arm strength to pull themselves up a wooden slide and pull themselves from one side of the room to other while clinging to ballet bars. They did so well today and I couldn’t believe how excited they got when they hit their hands on the wall at the top of the slide. I kept saying “Muestrame tu sonrisa!” and they would show me their biggest smiles. It was such a great day, but even the best days take a toll on you here. Near the end of my second shift I was completely drained and I still had to feed the kids dinner, brush their teeth, and put them in their pajamas. I was trying to find even the smallest victories in the last few tasks of the day so that I could keep myself going. During dinner there is one boy that I have to help more than the others. He struggles with basic motor skills so our biggest battle is just to keep him using his spoon and doing his best to get it even remotely close to his mouth. We put his small plate in a large bowl and hold it in order to contain most of the mess, but almost every time, he manages to flip the bowl and get it all over himself and the volunteer. After he finished the majority of his food this time, I was so proud of Jorge because although he was messy as usual, he hadn’t let his bowl topple to the ground and my white shirt was in prestine condition! I was so happy that I was cheering him on and telling him how fantastic he did as I spoon-fed the last few bites to him. He was so excited that he surprised me with a huge hug and smeared his messy face all across my shirt. I stood their completely shocked and everyone waited for my reaction in silence. I burst out laughing! Just when I thought I needed to be cut a break, I was given the exact opposite and it actually turned out to be a blessing! All of these kids constantly remind me of what really matters and the patience that I have learned here has already changed me for the better! I love it here :)
On our way out of Milagros tonight I had a chance to say goodnight to all of the kids and cuddle with Laurita as Martin told me about his girlfriend who he described to me as having blue skin? My goal is to have a movie night and show him Avatar before we leave! Haha they say the funniest things sometimes. From Milagros, we got on a bus and went directly to the other side of the city to HML which is an all-girls orphanage. We visit this orphanage every Monday and Thursday night and just do an activity with the girls for an hour or so. This was my frist time there and I spent the hour with Rosa and Rosita. These little girls were so full of life and so happy to see us. They don’t have an opportunity to interact with girls near their age or volunteers in general other than our bi-weekly visits. They are in a much poorer area and lack the kind of attention that we are able to give so easily to the other orphanages that our closer to us. I am so grateful for the ability I have to communicate with these girls in Spanish. Some days I truly don’t even know where I learned to speak the way I have been speaking here. At times I even say things I don’t ever remember learning in school, but I am able to be closer to the kids because of it. I would label today as the best day yet and I’m so looking forward to visiting more of the orphanages in the next few weeks and becoming more comfortable in the ones I have already had the opportunity to spend time in. For now, Buenas Noches :)
Sunday, June 19, 2011
The Slit in the Gate
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." -- Robert Brault
For my entire life, the majority of my Sundays have been fairly predictable. Routine consists of waking up, getting ready, going to church, and then coming home to relax and have Sunday dinner as a family. As I sit in my bed thousands of miles from home tonight, I've realized that nothing about today was predictable. In fact, until about 4 this afternoon I had completely forgotten what day of the week it was. Sleep is an incredible luxury that we all choose over wasting time getting ready. Regardless of how tired we are, any time you spend trying to look nice is quickly counteracted by the first hour of work with the babies or special needs kids. Luckily these kids love us no matter how pathetic we may look throughout the day!
I'll go through a little bit of my schedule today, moreso for myself so that I can remember as much as I can about this experience when I look back. I woke up at about 6 am this morning and got everyhing ready to go by about 6:30 so that I had a few minutes for breakfast. Here in the volunteer house we have huge baskets full of fruit and tupperwares full of speacialty bread. Every Tuesday and Friday these are replenished at the food market and panaderia by girls who have been put on the food committee. The fruit is so amazing here and you wouldn't believe how much we go through here! After breakfast, all of the girls who have a morning shift get on the bus at 7am and we are dropped of at a central point equadistant to the majority of the orphanages where we serve. To explain shifts, each girl has a 5 hour morning shift and a 5 hour afternoon shift. So from 7am-6pm we are working except for the break for lunch in between the two shifts. Three times a week, each volunteer is given an "off" where we will only work one of the two shifts for the day. None of the girls ever recieve a complete day off, but we enjoy the occasional shifts we are given to rest throughout the week :)
On Sundays the girls rotate on the schedule in order to determine who will be able to attend church each week. Two girls are usually given the morning shift as an "off" and then half of the girls have a star by their shift dictating either 8 am or 10 am church and that is the time they will be able to leave their shift for an hour to attend that specific Sacrament meeting. This Sunday, I had a scheduled shift this morning without a star so it wasn't my turn for church. But I have been told we rotate about every three weeks so I will have the opportunity to go at least once while I'm here. My morning shift was in the OSSO Milagros orphanage (meaning Miracles). I was so excited because it is a special needs orphanage and they need a lot of help there. When I got there, I was told that one of the girls working in the other orphanage was sick and so they took my trainer and placed her over there to take her place. Since I am one of the few girls who speaks Spanish, they felt I would stand a better chance on my own than someone else. I was nervous to work at one of the more dependent places for the first time alone, but the Ecuadorian OSSO workers were very patient with me and I understood the majority of what they asked of me.
Milagros houses 8 kids who all suffer from cerebral palsy. They need help with every task including eating, bathing, brushing their teeth, and moving in and out of their wheelchairs. Two of the boys understand all english and will answer in spanish and one little girl can speak spanish but the rest of the kids rely on their facial expressions to express their feelings. I'll describe more of them individually as I spend more time with them, but for now I'll introduce two of them.
The first, is Luiz (aka Guapo). I say Guapo (meaning handsome) because this is the only name Luiz will answer to :P. Luiz has autism and is high functioning in terms of basic tasks like eating and walking, however, he fears all social situations and for the most part we have to leave him on his own and interact with him from a far because he has a tendency to be more violent. He always has something in his hands and is always observing things going on around him. After he gets to know you more he will run up to you and kiss your shoulder and run away as fast as he can. He is so fun to talk to even though he doesn't answer other than with his special little kisses :)
Laurita was the little girl who gave me my daily dose of perspective today. Laurita is fifteen years old. She loves coloring, french braids, bracelets, and smiling. She is absolutely adorable and loves it when the volunteers cuddle with her. She made a point to learn my name immediately even though "annon" is all she could get out :) During activity time where we wheeled them all outside in the sun, I took Laurita on a walk. As we passed by the front gate, Laurita insisted that we stop for a while. I helped her out of her chair and we played with the weeds and rocks on the warm concrete. I was quizing her on her colors and numbers when all of a sudden she threw herself onto the gate and squeezed her face into the thin slit in the gate. I asked her what she was staring at but she batted her hand in my direction and remained concentrated. After a few minutes of silence she whispered, "mama". Thinking I must have heard her wrong, I asked her to repeat it. A little louder now she said, "mama". She pulled her little face away from the gate and I noticed an imprint left from the slit as well as tears welling up in her eyes. She pointed saying "mira" and I looked. At the bus stop across the street there was a woman in a bright red skirt. I asked her who she was and Laurita covered her eyes and said it was her mom. Both of us knew full well that the woman she saw was not her mom. Laurita's mom had left her when she was a baby because she felt incapable of handling her disabilities. Still thinking I must have misunderstood what she was getting at I asked the worker if Laurita might have been referring to something else. As if it were nothing, the worker told me that Laurita goes to that slit every day and hopes to see a woman at the bus stop. And every day she hopes that the woman she sees is her mother. The entire way home I thought about how much these children's parents are missing out on and it hurts me to know that these children actually realize their circumstances.
When I got home I had an "off" for the afternoon and was able to take a much needed nap. I woke up to the most intense rainstorm! Needless to say, I was in HEAVEN! I ran up to the balcony and just sat in it for a while before the other girls and I started Sunday dinner. Even though it wasn't what I was used to, I'm grateful for my Ecuadorian Sunday :)
For my entire life, the majority of my Sundays have been fairly predictable. Routine consists of waking up, getting ready, going to church, and then coming home to relax and have Sunday dinner as a family. As I sit in my bed thousands of miles from home tonight, I've realized that nothing about today was predictable. In fact, until about 4 this afternoon I had completely forgotten what day of the week it was. Sleep is an incredible luxury that we all choose over wasting time getting ready. Regardless of how tired we are, any time you spend trying to look nice is quickly counteracted by the first hour of work with the babies or special needs kids. Luckily these kids love us no matter how pathetic we may look throughout the day!
I'll go through a little bit of my schedule today, moreso for myself so that I can remember as much as I can about this experience when I look back. I woke up at about 6 am this morning and got everyhing ready to go by about 6:30 so that I had a few minutes for breakfast. Here in the volunteer house we have huge baskets full of fruit and tupperwares full of speacialty bread. Every Tuesday and Friday these are replenished at the food market and panaderia by girls who have been put on the food committee. The fruit is so amazing here and you wouldn't believe how much we go through here! After breakfast, all of the girls who have a morning shift get on the bus at 7am and we are dropped of at a central point equadistant to the majority of the orphanages where we serve. To explain shifts, each girl has a 5 hour morning shift and a 5 hour afternoon shift. So from 7am-6pm we are working except for the break for lunch in between the two shifts. Three times a week, each volunteer is given an "off" where we will only work one of the two shifts for the day. None of the girls ever recieve a complete day off, but we enjoy the occasional shifts we are given to rest throughout the week :)
On Sundays the girls rotate on the schedule in order to determine who will be able to attend church each week. Two girls are usually given the morning shift as an "off" and then half of the girls have a star by their shift dictating either 8 am or 10 am church and that is the time they will be able to leave their shift for an hour to attend that specific Sacrament meeting. This Sunday, I had a scheduled shift this morning without a star so it wasn't my turn for church. But I have been told we rotate about every three weeks so I will have the opportunity to go at least once while I'm here. My morning shift was in the OSSO Milagros orphanage (meaning Miracles). I was so excited because it is a special needs orphanage and they need a lot of help there. When I got there, I was told that one of the girls working in the other orphanage was sick and so they took my trainer and placed her over there to take her place. Since I am one of the few girls who speaks Spanish, they felt I would stand a better chance on my own than someone else. I was nervous to work at one of the more dependent places for the first time alone, but the Ecuadorian OSSO workers were very patient with me and I understood the majority of what they asked of me.
Milagros houses 8 kids who all suffer from cerebral palsy. They need help with every task including eating, bathing, brushing their teeth, and moving in and out of their wheelchairs. Two of the boys understand all english and will answer in spanish and one little girl can speak spanish but the rest of the kids rely on their facial expressions to express their feelings. I'll describe more of them individually as I spend more time with them, but for now I'll introduce two of them.
The first, is Luiz (aka Guapo). I say Guapo (meaning handsome) because this is the only name Luiz will answer to :P. Luiz has autism and is high functioning in terms of basic tasks like eating and walking, however, he fears all social situations and for the most part we have to leave him on his own and interact with him from a far because he has a tendency to be more violent. He always has something in his hands and is always observing things going on around him. After he gets to know you more he will run up to you and kiss your shoulder and run away as fast as he can. He is so fun to talk to even though he doesn't answer other than with his special little kisses :)
Laurita was the little girl who gave me my daily dose of perspective today. Laurita is fifteen years old. She loves coloring, french braids, bracelets, and smiling. She is absolutely adorable and loves it when the volunteers cuddle with her. She made a point to learn my name immediately even though "annon" is all she could get out :) During activity time where we wheeled them all outside in the sun, I took Laurita on a walk. As we passed by the front gate, Laurita insisted that we stop for a while. I helped her out of her chair and we played with the weeds and rocks on the warm concrete. I was quizing her on her colors and numbers when all of a sudden she threw herself onto the gate and squeezed her face into the thin slit in the gate. I asked her what she was staring at but she batted her hand in my direction and remained concentrated. After a few minutes of silence she whispered, "mama". Thinking I must have heard her wrong, I asked her to repeat it. A little louder now she said, "mama". She pulled her little face away from the gate and I noticed an imprint left from the slit as well as tears welling up in her eyes. She pointed saying "mira" and I looked. At the bus stop across the street there was a woman in a bright red skirt. I asked her who she was and Laurita covered her eyes and said it was her mom. Both of us knew full well that the woman she saw was not her mom. Laurita's mom had left her when she was a baby because she felt incapable of handling her disabilities. Still thinking I must have misunderstood what she was getting at I asked the worker if Laurita might have been referring to something else. As if it were nothing, the worker told me that Laurita goes to that slit every day and hopes to see a woman at the bus stop. And every day she hopes that the woman she sees is her mother. The entire way home I thought about how much these children's parents are missing out on and it hurts me to know that these children actually realize their circumstances.
When I got home I had an "off" for the afternoon and was able to take a much needed nap. I woke up to the most intense rainstorm! Needless to say, I was in HEAVEN! I ran up to the balcony and just sat in it for a while before the other girls and I started Sunday dinner. Even though it wasn't what I was used to, I'm grateful for my Ecuadorian Sunday :)
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