"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier." -Mother Teresa
Who was I kidding? Of course it was going to be difficult. I went into this week just like I had the rest though. I had convinced myself that it wouldn’t happen. But it’s Wednesday now. Tomorrow afternoon I will be on a plane heading towards the Amazon Jungle and leaving everything I have known for the past month behind. Before this month there were a lot of things I didn’t know. For one, I had never been forced to live with 20 girls in one house. I had never had to rely on communication other than English. And it’s safe to say that I had never truly had another human become completely dependent on me. I will be the first to admit that it was difficult and that at times I felt like I wasn’t qualified to take on the role. However, I will also tell you that after exactly 28 days with these children, I have never loved anything more than this role. Of course I don’t know what it is like to be a mother In the universal way people interpret it, but the children I have met don’t see things the way the rest of the world does.
To the children, a mother is someone who is there when they wake up in the morning; the person who feeds them breakfast. She is the person who gives you a bath and chases after you when you decide to run out of the house completely naked. It’s the person who tells you not to climb the wall in the courtyard, but holds you while you cry after falling off of it. A mom, to them, is the one that they see every day, who plays with them, reads to them, and sings them a song just before they tuck them in to bed. In their eyes, the person who chases away the monster that frequents their dollhouse is the best mom in the world. So on my last night in Cuenca I am going to have the guts to say that for the past month, I have been a mom. The love I have for the hundreds of children I have been blessed to meet is indescribable. The most amazing part of it all is that I am the one who gained the most from this experience.
It was Dilan who taught me patience as he took off running in the nude after his bath each afternoon. It was Marcelo who taught me what family really is as he spent an entire afternoon pushing his sister’s wheelchair around while the other kids his age played soccer. After 19 years of a normal life, Deanna showed me how resilient the human spirit can be as she maintains a smile although her body slowly degenerates. Rosa, a shy little girl at an all girls orphanage in the city, showed me what it really means to love someone as we sat in the courtyard sobbing when I had to say goodbye.
There are hundreds of children here that have changed my life. When I first got on the plane heading towards Ecuador I was determined to make a difference. To be honest, whether I came here or not, the children were going to wake up, they were going to be fed, and they were going to fall asleep at night. The difference made in this month was made in me. At first I am sure that some of my less flattering qualities surfaced. The long days, short night’s rest, cold weather, and screaming babies inevitably got the best of me. Luckily, the hardest week passed and through what I have learned here I have developed qualities I am proud to have. Without a doubt, I received a crash course in Life.
I can’t remember the last time I have been so happy, so blessed, or laughed so hard in my life. But along with that in the end, I have never had to say goodbye to so many people I love at once. There is so much I wish I could say about this experience and so many stories I would love to tell everyone. To put it bluntly, nobody else could understand. Pictures, videos, and stories could never help someone else understand what it has been like for me to be with these children. The love I have for them is something I have never experienced and for the first time I truly know what it’s like to love someone more than life itself. I have no idea what I will do without them and only heaven can help me when I get on that plane headed back “home”. Milagros, Esperanza, y Alegria. There is no better way to explain this experience.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
"Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite"
Just as a note to everyone, I am still alive! I am so sorry that I haven’t been making much contact with people like I should be. It is amazing to me how much my priorities have changed while I have been here. There are definitely not enough hours in a day anymore. I had an off this morning and managed to get a lot of things done. Hopefully I can catch everyone up on what has been going on here these past few days.
THURSDAY:
Last Thursday, Shanna, Brigitta, and I were able to go into town for a few hours during our off and it was so much fun! Probably irrational of me, I felt completely confident in weaving through the streets of Cuenca. Let’s be honest, could I be any whiter, taller, redheaded, or have any longer extremities in a country that is so unaccustomed to all of the above? The gawks and disgusting comments from all of the Ecuadorian men are certainty not anything I will miss when I go home. These are the only times when I truly wish I didn’t understand Spanish. It still shocks me how shameless a lot of the men here are. I feel safe, but I am still always incredibly aware of each individual person surrounding us in the streets.
As all three of us weaved in and out of the streets, we periodically went into the local stores and did our best to find things to bring home that will epitomize everything we have seen in Ecuador. We were able to find traditional clothes, handmade trinkets, our coveted headbands that we could not live here without, and beautiful paintings. We continued walking down the main street by the Catholic Cathedral and stopped into our favorite ice cream parlor for “limon helado”. We finished our adventure with an hour of movie shopping and purchased 16 American movies for 24 dollars. That is just about the best thing that could happen to a group of girls from America and it has been so nice to have movie nights after our long shifts! My favorite part of the day was going to the flower market. On our way back to the OSSO house that night we crossed the street and found ourselves surrounded by huge tents of flowers. The assortment of colors is indescribable and the smell was heavenly! Even though they were exhausted from the long day, Brigitta and Shanna were troopers as I dragged them in and out of every single tent. I loved every second of it! I have never seen anything so beautiful. Further into the cluster of tents I met a sweet little old woman who showed me the most breathtaking yellow roses I have ever seen. I spent a few minutes talking with her and she told me about how she takes a 6-hour bus ride to Quito every morning to pick up the flowers that she sells here every day. I thought about how much I loved those yellow roses and how I had only been lucky enough to have flowers when they had been given to me. Immediately I knew it was time I bought some for myself for a change! Nothing surprised me more than when the sweet little woman told me that the bouquet was $1. ONE DOLLAR! I was so excited that I asked her if she would take a picture with me, which she agreed to without hesitation. I walked the rest of the way home carrying my bouquet of flawless yellow roses. Best dollar I have ever spent!
FRIDAY:
I am sure I say this a lot, but Friday was one of the best days I have had here so far. I woke up at 6 a.m. as usual for my morning shift and took the 25 minute bus ride that winds through Cuenca to the OSSO special needs orphanage. When I walked into “Casa Esperanza” one of the little boys, Christian, was in the doorway screaming “CABALLOS! CABALLOS! CABALLOS”! I had forgotten that it was Friday. Every Friday, the Military Base in Cuenca allows a group of kids from the OSSO orphanage to come and ride horses as part of their required service hours. I had never gone so I was just as excited as kids. The base is about a mile away so after we fed them breakfast and bathed each of them, we all grabbed a wheel chair and made our way to “caballos”. When we arrived, all of the military men were so kind and happy to see the kids. They sat us in the bleachers of the arena and we watched as the kids took turns riding on the horses. All of the volunteers were paired with the child that they brought and we rode on the horse with each of them, holding them to ensure that they didn’t fall off. I was paired with my little Eddie. Eddie is about 10 years old and has cerebral palsy. Cerebral Palsy is obviously a “blanket statement” made for most of the kids at OSSO because they are all very unique in their symptoms and functioning capabilites. Eddie has no obvious way of communication and cannot get from one place to another without sitting in his wheel chair, but that boy sure can smile! He can light up a room in an instant and if you chant his name again, getting louder each time, you can get him to bust up laughing! It was so sweet to ride the horse with him and see him so happy. He absolutely loved it and even though he couldn’t tell me that, there was nothing that was going to wipe that smile off of his face! One after another the kids and volunteers rode the horses around the arena and it seemed that the smiles got bigger as each person went. It was just another reminder for me that these amazing kids really do understand the things that are going on around them and they feel things just like we do. Definitely a morning I will always remember.
SATURDAY:
Saturday was my half-way mark and that thought was lingering in my mind all day. I spent Saturday morning in Milagros, which is one of my favorite groups of kids that I work with. Laurita and Martin are some of the higher functioning children at the orphanage and it is so fun to interact with them. Laurita is adorable and can understand everything that we say in Spanish and responds with body language, a few words of Spanish, or distinct noises. Her smile is irresistable and her laugh is contagious! Her favorite things are cuddling, coloring, calling you crazy in sign language, and giving you “besitos” (little kisses). On Saturday she saw some of the bed bug bites covering my body from the night before and she insisted that she kiss every single one. I truly love this little girl.
Martin is a 12 year old little boy in “Casa Milagros” that is more capable of communicating with the volunteers. He is so incredibly intelligent. He spends most of the time in his wheelchair but during his therapies, he can walk if we help support him in his laps around the orphanage. Martin speaks a few decipherable grunts of Spanish but understands Spanish and English in their entirety. He has learned English from all of the volunteers that he has met and it is hilarious communicating with him. We always tease him and he communicates with us with his own little way of playing “charades”. After you spend a lot of time with him you better understand each of the gestures that he does, but occasionally you are thrown into a random guessing game. Sometimes I have no clue what he is getting at and after guessing 10 different things, he will shake his head in frustration. That is when the game becomes the most fun because I start guessing things that are completely farfetched and end by saying things like “OOOOOOH you love me?”…..”You want to be my boyfriend”…..”We’re eloping before I leave?!” He rolls his eyes, but I always get him to crack a smile! I will miss the soccer games, arm wrestling tournaments, and Michael Jackson dance parties with this little boy. Even after only a month, I can’t imagine what life without seeing him every day will be like.
My second shift on Saturday was at “Casas” or more familiarly known as the Ecuadorian Mafia. They were crazy as always but I have grown to love the insanity. I love being able to speak Spanish with them and they are so funny. I got a glimpse of the more unappealing aspects of parenting during the shift though. During the last hour of the shift I was getting all of the boys ready for bed and it was time for all of them to brush their teeth. I gave each of them their toothbrushes and toothpaste and when they finished I asked for all of the brushes back. Well, these kids LOVE their toothbrushes and think of toothpaste as candy. Dillon, who is 4 years old, decided that he didn’t want to give his back. I gave him the best “mom look” I could muster and asked him one more time to please give it back to me. He looked straight at me and SPIT IN MY FACE!!! Without even a second thought I grabbed him and calmly said only 2 words before I let the silence do the rest. “CASA SOLO”. I put him in his room and locked the door. I was furious at first, but it took everything I had to not laugh as I passed by his window and saw his chubby little cheeks pushed up tightly against the glass and heard him faintly repeating “Lo siento. Lo siento. Lo siento.” Haha I love those little monsters with all my heart. They have definitely taught me patience and how to stand up for myself when it comes to discipline.
After all of the volunteers had come home from shift, the OSSO cook was waiting to teach us how to make Empanadas! Let’s just say that they were amazing and I can’t wait to make them when I get home! Catalina was so patient with all of us and it was so fun taking a break from everything and spending time with all of the girls.
SUNDAY:
I was lucky enough to get a church shift this past Sunday! I was given the option of 10 a.m. church so the bus took us to morning shift as usual at 7 a.m. but it came back to pick a few of us up at 9:30 a.m. and drove us to church. We only got to stay for Sacrament Meeting but it was still worth going! The frist half of my morning shift was in CUNAS with the babies so I smelled of diarrhea, diaper cream, and baby wipes without a doubt when I walked in but the ward in Cuenca has come to expect that out of the OSSO volunteers at this point. We walked in the building with just barely enough time to change into our church clothes and find a seat. It was so humbling to walk in, look around, and notice that the full head count of the ward totaled less than 30 members. The faith of the people in the Gospel here is incredible. One by one, the members shared their testimonies at the pulpit and the spirit they brought with them was so strong. There could have been no greater proof of the truthfulness of the Gospel than to travel halfway across the world only to find such a familiar place.
A single moment in my afternoon shift is one that has changed my perspective forever. It was the kind of experience that I was hoping to have even back when I started planning this trip. I was working in Esperanza that afternoon and it was time for all of the kids to be taken outside for a few hours. Every day when we take the kids outside, we take turns taking each of the kids on a walk around the orphanage in their wheel chairs. A few of the kids in particular like to stop at the front gate for a few minutes and peek out at the cars that pass by in the street. I decided to take Vanessa for a walk for a few minutes. Vanessa is about 9 years old and for the most part, is completely unresponsive to things going on around her. She spends every day being supported by her wheel chair and constantly moves her head from side to side. It is fairly hard to get any kind of connection with her since eye contact or a smile is so rare from her. Contrary to her usual brief route around the orphanage, Sunday afternoon I decided I was going to stop at the gate. I propped her up in her chair and made sure she was facing the street. I sat down on a curb right in front of her. Knowing there was no way she was going to understand what I was saying, I just started talking to her in English. I told her everything. I talked to her about things that have been bothering me, people back at home, important moments in my life, and basically anything I wanted to get off of my chest. At one point I started telling her how tired I was and how hard some of the days are here. I was feeling completely inadequate. At that moment I looked up at her and I caught HER gaze. Her head was perfectly still and her eyes were staring straight at me.
Vanessa is a unique little girl at the orphanage. She was born a beautiful, healthy little girl. Through years of horrible abuse, the trauma took a toll on Vanessa’s spirit and she will never function the same way again. Although the damage has been done, there is a little girl in there that knows exactly what it’s like to be “normal”. We only made eye contact for about 20 seconds, but that was enough to bring me to tears. That was the connection I had been waiting for with her. The odds of that happening again are so slim, but it only took once for me to fall in love with her. I cannot even imagine all that Vanessa has gone through in her life. One thing I know is that she wasn’t put on this Earth to learn something. She was put here to teach others; more specifically, to teach me. I am so grateful that I was given the opportunity to see how much she has to offer before it was too late. I have realized how little time I have left here and there is so much more I have to learn from these kids before I get on that plane in two weeks.
MONDAY: (almost caught up)
Sunday I woke up to 27 bug bites. BED bug bites. I could lie and say that I was cool, calm and collected, but let’s be honest….BUGS WERE CRAWLING ALL OVER ME WHILE I WAS SLEEPING. It doesn’t get sketchier than that! I am the only girl that hasn't gotten sick and thrown up while I have been in Ecuador so I suppose it was only a matter of time before something unfortunate happened to me. I would much rather have bug bites than be sick here. I never had the chicken pox when I was little, but I imagine that it would have been a lot like this. I am itchy all over! Unfortunately there are a lot of things you have to do to get rid of them. You have to strip your bed, wash your sheets, do all your laundry, and spray your mattress. Unfortunately I had to wait to do all of this because when you spray your mattress you have to leave the room for 2-3 hours. That meant I had to sleep one more night in a bed-bed-infested bed. I prepped myself for the inevitable bites but still took preventative measures. I put on long pants andI tucked them into my socks. I even wore a sweatshirt tucked into my sweatpants and pulled the strings on my sweatshirt tightly enough to only leave a small hole in the center for oxygen. The other girls will attest to the fact that I looked ridiculous. Just as we were all going to bed I clumsily knocked the bed bug spray on the ground and some of it spilled on the carpet. Well, in case you’re wondering, bed bug spray smells like gasoline. It had been a long day and we weren’t about to leave our room for 2-3 hours so we decided to just suck it up and go to bed. It smelled so awful and it was hard to breathe (even harder with the get-up I was wearing). I was pretty convinced that we were going to die so I woke up every 2 hours to check and make sure all of my roommates were still breathing. I wish I was kidding. We ultimately all survived and I discovered a dozen more bites in the morning. Luckily I was able to spray my mattress the next day and I am now bed-bug free!!!
TODAY (Tuesday):
Today was a great day! I had a much needed off this morning. I got to sleep in until 8:30, talk to my mom, pay some bills online, and do all my laundry. This afternoon I had a shift in Alegria with all of the little toddlers at the OSSO special needs orphanage. I have only been scheduled there a few times, but I love it there. The kids are so full of life and they absolutely love being with the volunteers. One of the little boys caught me off guard today though. We were all sitting in circle reading books and Christian, who has Autism, was sitting on my lap. As I was reading to him he looked up and said, “Mommy, mommy, mira!” He was pointing at a picture of a dog in the book and trying to not act surprised, just acknowledged it and turned the page. Throughout the rest of the shift, whenever he sat with me or wanted my attention he would call me “mommy”. I kept trying to dance around it and kept referencing myself as his friend. Finally I went to the worker and asked how I should react to it. She told me to answer to Mommy. She could tell I was confused and continued to tell me that the kids at OSSO don’t think of Mom’s as the people that gave birth to them. The children call someone mommy when they feel that they have become a mom. She told me that I should love it when one of the children calls me mommy, because that means they feel that I have become that in their lives. It’s so strange for me to accept that at only 20. As I left tonight, Christian gave me a hug and a kiss and said, “Chao Mommy”. I left before he could see that I had started to cry. How can I ever get on that plane going home?
THURSDAY:
Last Thursday, Shanna, Brigitta, and I were able to go into town for a few hours during our off and it was so much fun! Probably irrational of me, I felt completely confident in weaving through the streets of Cuenca. Let’s be honest, could I be any whiter, taller, redheaded, or have any longer extremities in a country that is so unaccustomed to all of the above? The gawks and disgusting comments from all of the Ecuadorian men are certainty not anything I will miss when I go home. These are the only times when I truly wish I didn’t understand Spanish. It still shocks me how shameless a lot of the men here are. I feel safe, but I am still always incredibly aware of each individual person surrounding us in the streets.
As all three of us weaved in and out of the streets, we periodically went into the local stores and did our best to find things to bring home that will epitomize everything we have seen in Ecuador. We were able to find traditional clothes, handmade trinkets, our coveted headbands that we could not live here without, and beautiful paintings. We continued walking down the main street by the Catholic Cathedral and stopped into our favorite ice cream parlor for “limon helado”. We finished our adventure with an hour of movie shopping and purchased 16 American movies for 24 dollars. That is just about the best thing that could happen to a group of girls from America and it has been so nice to have movie nights after our long shifts! My favorite part of the day was going to the flower market. On our way back to the OSSO house that night we crossed the street and found ourselves surrounded by huge tents of flowers. The assortment of colors is indescribable and the smell was heavenly! Even though they were exhausted from the long day, Brigitta and Shanna were troopers as I dragged them in and out of every single tent. I loved every second of it! I have never seen anything so beautiful. Further into the cluster of tents I met a sweet little old woman who showed me the most breathtaking yellow roses I have ever seen. I spent a few minutes talking with her and she told me about how she takes a 6-hour bus ride to Quito every morning to pick up the flowers that she sells here every day. I thought about how much I loved those yellow roses and how I had only been lucky enough to have flowers when they had been given to me. Immediately I knew it was time I bought some for myself for a change! Nothing surprised me more than when the sweet little woman told me that the bouquet was $1. ONE DOLLAR! I was so excited that I asked her if she would take a picture with me, which she agreed to without hesitation. I walked the rest of the way home carrying my bouquet of flawless yellow roses. Best dollar I have ever spent!
FRIDAY:
I am sure I say this a lot, but Friday was one of the best days I have had here so far. I woke up at 6 a.m. as usual for my morning shift and took the 25 minute bus ride that winds through Cuenca to the OSSO special needs orphanage. When I walked into “Casa Esperanza” one of the little boys, Christian, was in the doorway screaming “CABALLOS! CABALLOS! CABALLOS”! I had forgotten that it was Friday. Every Friday, the Military Base in Cuenca allows a group of kids from the OSSO orphanage to come and ride horses as part of their required service hours. I had never gone so I was just as excited as kids. The base is about a mile away so after we fed them breakfast and bathed each of them, we all grabbed a wheel chair and made our way to “caballos”. When we arrived, all of the military men were so kind and happy to see the kids. They sat us in the bleachers of the arena and we watched as the kids took turns riding on the horses. All of the volunteers were paired with the child that they brought and we rode on the horse with each of them, holding them to ensure that they didn’t fall off. I was paired with my little Eddie. Eddie is about 10 years old and has cerebral palsy. Cerebral Palsy is obviously a “blanket statement” made for most of the kids at OSSO because they are all very unique in their symptoms and functioning capabilites. Eddie has no obvious way of communication and cannot get from one place to another without sitting in his wheel chair, but that boy sure can smile! He can light up a room in an instant and if you chant his name again, getting louder each time, you can get him to bust up laughing! It was so sweet to ride the horse with him and see him so happy. He absolutely loved it and even though he couldn’t tell me that, there was nothing that was going to wipe that smile off of his face! One after another the kids and volunteers rode the horses around the arena and it seemed that the smiles got bigger as each person went. It was just another reminder for me that these amazing kids really do understand the things that are going on around them and they feel things just like we do. Definitely a morning I will always remember.
SATURDAY:
Saturday was my half-way mark and that thought was lingering in my mind all day. I spent Saturday morning in Milagros, which is one of my favorite groups of kids that I work with. Laurita and Martin are some of the higher functioning children at the orphanage and it is so fun to interact with them. Laurita is adorable and can understand everything that we say in Spanish and responds with body language, a few words of Spanish, or distinct noises. Her smile is irresistable and her laugh is contagious! Her favorite things are cuddling, coloring, calling you crazy in sign language, and giving you “besitos” (little kisses). On Saturday she saw some of the bed bug bites covering my body from the night before and she insisted that she kiss every single one. I truly love this little girl.
Martin is a 12 year old little boy in “Casa Milagros” that is more capable of communicating with the volunteers. He is so incredibly intelligent. He spends most of the time in his wheelchair but during his therapies, he can walk if we help support him in his laps around the orphanage. Martin speaks a few decipherable grunts of Spanish but understands Spanish and English in their entirety. He has learned English from all of the volunteers that he has met and it is hilarious communicating with him. We always tease him and he communicates with us with his own little way of playing “charades”. After you spend a lot of time with him you better understand each of the gestures that he does, but occasionally you are thrown into a random guessing game. Sometimes I have no clue what he is getting at and after guessing 10 different things, he will shake his head in frustration. That is when the game becomes the most fun because I start guessing things that are completely farfetched and end by saying things like “OOOOOOH you love me?”…..”You want to be my boyfriend”…..”We’re eloping before I leave?!” He rolls his eyes, but I always get him to crack a smile! I will miss the soccer games, arm wrestling tournaments, and Michael Jackson dance parties with this little boy. Even after only a month, I can’t imagine what life without seeing him every day will be like.
My second shift on Saturday was at “Casas” or more familiarly known as the Ecuadorian Mafia. They were crazy as always but I have grown to love the insanity. I love being able to speak Spanish with them and they are so funny. I got a glimpse of the more unappealing aspects of parenting during the shift though. During the last hour of the shift I was getting all of the boys ready for bed and it was time for all of them to brush their teeth. I gave each of them their toothbrushes and toothpaste and when they finished I asked for all of the brushes back. Well, these kids LOVE their toothbrushes and think of toothpaste as candy. Dillon, who is 4 years old, decided that he didn’t want to give his back. I gave him the best “mom look” I could muster and asked him one more time to please give it back to me. He looked straight at me and SPIT IN MY FACE!!! Without even a second thought I grabbed him and calmly said only 2 words before I let the silence do the rest. “CASA SOLO”. I put him in his room and locked the door. I was furious at first, but it took everything I had to not laugh as I passed by his window and saw his chubby little cheeks pushed up tightly against the glass and heard him faintly repeating “Lo siento. Lo siento. Lo siento.” Haha I love those little monsters with all my heart. They have definitely taught me patience and how to stand up for myself when it comes to discipline.
After all of the volunteers had come home from shift, the OSSO cook was waiting to teach us how to make Empanadas! Let’s just say that they were amazing and I can’t wait to make them when I get home! Catalina was so patient with all of us and it was so fun taking a break from everything and spending time with all of the girls.
SUNDAY:
I was lucky enough to get a church shift this past Sunday! I was given the option of 10 a.m. church so the bus took us to morning shift as usual at 7 a.m. but it came back to pick a few of us up at 9:30 a.m. and drove us to church. We only got to stay for Sacrament Meeting but it was still worth going! The frist half of my morning shift was in CUNAS with the babies so I smelled of diarrhea, diaper cream, and baby wipes without a doubt when I walked in but the ward in Cuenca has come to expect that out of the OSSO volunteers at this point. We walked in the building with just barely enough time to change into our church clothes and find a seat. It was so humbling to walk in, look around, and notice that the full head count of the ward totaled less than 30 members. The faith of the people in the Gospel here is incredible. One by one, the members shared their testimonies at the pulpit and the spirit they brought with them was so strong. There could have been no greater proof of the truthfulness of the Gospel than to travel halfway across the world only to find such a familiar place.
A single moment in my afternoon shift is one that has changed my perspective forever. It was the kind of experience that I was hoping to have even back when I started planning this trip. I was working in Esperanza that afternoon and it was time for all of the kids to be taken outside for a few hours. Every day when we take the kids outside, we take turns taking each of the kids on a walk around the orphanage in their wheel chairs. A few of the kids in particular like to stop at the front gate for a few minutes and peek out at the cars that pass by in the street. I decided to take Vanessa for a walk for a few minutes. Vanessa is about 9 years old and for the most part, is completely unresponsive to things going on around her. She spends every day being supported by her wheel chair and constantly moves her head from side to side. It is fairly hard to get any kind of connection with her since eye contact or a smile is so rare from her. Contrary to her usual brief route around the orphanage, Sunday afternoon I decided I was going to stop at the gate. I propped her up in her chair and made sure she was facing the street. I sat down on a curb right in front of her. Knowing there was no way she was going to understand what I was saying, I just started talking to her in English. I told her everything. I talked to her about things that have been bothering me, people back at home, important moments in my life, and basically anything I wanted to get off of my chest. At one point I started telling her how tired I was and how hard some of the days are here. I was feeling completely inadequate. At that moment I looked up at her and I caught HER gaze. Her head was perfectly still and her eyes were staring straight at me.
Vanessa is a unique little girl at the orphanage. She was born a beautiful, healthy little girl. Through years of horrible abuse, the trauma took a toll on Vanessa’s spirit and she will never function the same way again. Although the damage has been done, there is a little girl in there that knows exactly what it’s like to be “normal”. We only made eye contact for about 20 seconds, but that was enough to bring me to tears. That was the connection I had been waiting for with her. The odds of that happening again are so slim, but it only took once for me to fall in love with her. I cannot even imagine all that Vanessa has gone through in her life. One thing I know is that she wasn’t put on this Earth to learn something. She was put here to teach others; more specifically, to teach me. I am so grateful that I was given the opportunity to see how much she has to offer before it was too late. I have realized how little time I have left here and there is so much more I have to learn from these kids before I get on that plane in two weeks.
MONDAY: (almost caught up)
Sunday I woke up to 27 bug bites. BED bug bites. I could lie and say that I was cool, calm and collected, but let’s be honest….BUGS WERE CRAWLING ALL OVER ME WHILE I WAS SLEEPING. It doesn’t get sketchier than that! I am the only girl that hasn't gotten sick and thrown up while I have been in Ecuador so I suppose it was only a matter of time before something unfortunate happened to me. I would much rather have bug bites than be sick here. I never had the chicken pox when I was little, but I imagine that it would have been a lot like this. I am itchy all over! Unfortunately there are a lot of things you have to do to get rid of them. You have to strip your bed, wash your sheets, do all your laundry, and spray your mattress. Unfortunately I had to wait to do all of this because when you spray your mattress you have to leave the room for 2-3 hours. That meant I had to sleep one more night in a bed-bed-infested bed. I prepped myself for the inevitable bites but still took preventative measures. I put on long pants andI tucked them into my socks. I even wore a sweatshirt tucked into my sweatpants and pulled the strings on my sweatshirt tightly enough to only leave a small hole in the center for oxygen. The other girls will attest to the fact that I looked ridiculous. Just as we were all going to bed I clumsily knocked the bed bug spray on the ground and some of it spilled on the carpet. Well, in case you’re wondering, bed bug spray smells like gasoline. It had been a long day and we weren’t about to leave our room for 2-3 hours so we decided to just suck it up and go to bed. It smelled so awful and it was hard to breathe (even harder with the get-up I was wearing). I was pretty convinced that we were going to die so I woke up every 2 hours to check and make sure all of my roommates were still breathing. I wish I was kidding. We ultimately all survived and I discovered a dozen more bites in the morning. Luckily I was able to spray my mattress the next day and I am now bed-bug free!!!
TODAY (Tuesday):
Today was a great day! I had a much needed off this morning. I got to sleep in until 8:30, talk to my mom, pay some bills online, and do all my laundry. This afternoon I had a shift in Alegria with all of the little toddlers at the OSSO special needs orphanage. I have only been scheduled there a few times, but I love it there. The kids are so full of life and they absolutely love being with the volunteers. One of the little boys caught me off guard today though. We were all sitting in circle reading books and Christian, who has Autism, was sitting on my lap. As I was reading to him he looked up and said, “Mommy, mommy, mira!” He was pointing at a picture of a dog in the book and trying to not act surprised, just acknowledged it and turned the page. Throughout the rest of the shift, whenever he sat with me or wanted my attention he would call me “mommy”. I kept trying to dance around it and kept referencing myself as his friend. Finally I went to the worker and asked how I should react to it. She told me to answer to Mommy. She could tell I was confused and continued to tell me that the kids at OSSO don’t think of Mom’s as the people that gave birth to them. The children call someone mommy when they feel that they have become a mom. She told me that I should love it when one of the children calls me mommy, because that means they feel that I have become that in their lives. It’s so strange for me to accept that at only 20. As I left tonight, Christian gave me a hug and a kiss and said, “Chao Mommy”. I left before he could see that I had started to cry. How can I ever get on that plane going home?
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Sleepless in Ecuador
"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother."
-Abraham Lincoln
It is a strange feeling to walk into a room with over 30 kids when the only words of wisdom given are “Buena Suerte” (Good Luck). Last night my friend Brigitta and I were scheduled for one of the first night shifts at the OSSO special needs orphanage. Usually there are 2 “night Tias” scheduled each night, but in order to cut costs, the organization has decided to periodically give some of these shifts to the volunteers. Basically, I was considered one of the “guinea pigs”. All week I had been looking forward to this shift. I had been told by the directors that it was the easiest shift and that I probably wouldn’t have to do much while I was there. Their reassurance was appreciated since the night shift is done in addition to the morning and afternoon shifts already expected of us. The day leading up to the night shift went a little like this:
I spent 7am-Noon in CUNAS, the baby and toddler section of the Catholic Orphanage. A virus has been going around the orphanage this past week so it has been incredibly hectic. There is one worker, Betty, who is incredibly hard on the volunteers even though there is no way they could afford to lose their partnership with OSSO. If you don’t speak Spanish she’ll wipe the floor with you, and if you do speak Spanish she’ll make you wipe the floor for her. I fall into the latter category and so I am constantly led in every direction doing her bidding. Her moodiness is often entertaining and I find amusement in the fact that I am confident enough in my Spanish abilities to send a little bit of sass back her way. Yesterday was amazing because I got to spend almost the entire shift with the newborns. To explain how big of an accomplishment this is, Betty doesn’t let anyone get near the baby room and keeps all that cuteness to herself. Your only hope is that eventually she finds even the slightest aspect of your existance pleasing to her. I had been laying the Spanish jokes on thick all week in hopes of hitting “Baby Status”, and it finally paid off! Aside from losing count changing 30+ diapers, I loved every second of my time with those little angels. The shift ended with over 10 thank-yous and multiple “mijas” from Betty. Overall, I am happy to say it was 5 hours well spent. :)
With a little pep in my step, I headed to CASAS (ages 2-10) for my afternoon shift following the 2-hour lunch break. CASAS is home of the Ecuadorian Circus, or at least it seems like it. If you can recall, this is the group of kids that supports the “little nudist” and the volunteers refer to them as the Ecuadorian Mafia. It is all in good fun since they welcome us with open arms as the “Gringitas”. From 2-6pm I spent all of my energy trying to keep them alive, entertained, and free of bite marks. They are always crazy but I love the opportunity I have to improve my Spanish with them and they do some of the goofiest things that never fail to make me smile. Even if they are exhausting, I love each and every one of those little ninos
At 6pm all of the other volunteers were on their way back to the house on the OSSO bus for the much anticipated Sunday dinner. Brigitta and I, however, had just begun the first of the 13 ½ hours of our night shift. The special needs orphanage is owned and run by OSSO and there are over 30 children there varying in age and capabilities. The children are divided into “houses”; Milagros (miracles), Esperanza (hope), and Alegria (Joy). Milagros is the house I have spent the most time in and I have fallen in love with the kids there. It’s amazing how attached you can become to a child when they are completely reliant on you for everything. I ofcourse don’t know what it is like to be a mom but I can imagine that I have experienced a lot of the same feelings for these kids as a mom does for her own.
By the time Brigitta and I had played with the kids and put all of the children in Milagros and Esperanza to bed, it was about 8:30 pm and we had one more house to put to bed. Alegria is the home with the youngest children. The ages range from 4 weeks-6 years and the only 2 children in the orphanage who are not special needs live there. Nancy is 4 years old and I call her the “mamacita” of the house. She is always aware of the other children and does whatever she can to comfort and love the other kids. Her motherly nature translates into a lot of sass but I absolutely love her for it. A little girl after my own heart Marcelo is the other child there that functions normally. He was just brought to OSSO after his sister who is special needs was taken in. All of the kids in Alegria are so full of life and are doing so incredibly well considering all of the horrible things they have experienced in such a short period of time on this Earth. It took a while to get those little kiddos in bed and I definitely exhausted my knowledge of Spanish Lullabies while I tucked them in. Luckily, they eventually all fell asleep.
The night’s series of random occurances started at about 9:30 pm. After having not eaten since 12, one of the assistant directors surprised us with leftover Fettucine Alfredo and Salad. We were in heaven! While the sole “night Tia” was downstairs cleaning the other 2 houses, we stayed upstairs in Alegria and started a movie. However; the party as short-lived and within 45 minutes, the long day was taking a toll on me. By 10:30 my eyelids were heavy and I had no idea how I was going to stay up for the next 9 hours. We started folding the huge heaps of laundry for all 3 houses and sang along to “Tangled” in an attempt to wake ourselves up a little bit.
11:30 PM is when things started to spiral downhill and we discovered how wrong our preconcieved notions really were. The night shift is anything but “easy”. The following 3 hours proved to be most tiring hours I have had here. The two newborns in Alegria practically took turns crying all throughout the night. It occurred to us after an hour of holding and singing to them that, of course they were never going to sleep through the night. Deana is only 4 weeks old and was found in a trash can 2 weeks ago. She is one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. She cried on and off for over 3 hours. Two bottles and 2 bottles later, I was still consoling her in my arms in the rocking chair. It seemed like forever and my eyelids continued to weigh themselves down as we rocked back and forth. Despite the fact that I had been up for almost 24 hours at that point, I couldn’t imagine why Deana’s mother would want anything other than this sleepless night.
The last five hours of this shift consisted of 1 hour of sleep on the “preschool mats”, 3 loads of laundry, 2 feeding times, 4 lullabies, and another hour in a rocking chair. I am grateful for the amazing “night Tia” who maintained amazing patience as my Spanish went downhillin the wee hours of the morning. I will admit Brigitta and I had plenty of laughs once the delirium set in though! For the first time I knew what it truly must be like to be a mom. I had children counting on me. I changed countless diapers, went through dozens of baby bottles, folded over 50 outfits, chased a monster from a closet, and layed in bed with a little girl as she cried herself to sleep. Throughout it all I wouldn’t sacrifice a single second of it and there was no sweeter moment than seeing all the kids wake up this morning.
While here, I’ve learned the title “Mom” is too freely given. The mothers who abandoned these kids by rivers, in dumpsters, or lost them due to abuse, do not deserve the beautiful little miracles they left behind. So thank you to my own mom. Thank you for being there for me. You earned the title through sleepless nights, lullabies sung, tears, laughter, and endless “I Love You”s.
Here’s to all the moms who stuck it out. Here’s to the unsung heroes.
NIGHTSHIFT ACOMPLISHED :)
-Abraham Lincoln
It is a strange feeling to walk into a room with over 30 kids when the only words of wisdom given are “Buena Suerte” (Good Luck). Last night my friend Brigitta and I were scheduled for one of the first night shifts at the OSSO special needs orphanage. Usually there are 2 “night Tias” scheduled each night, but in order to cut costs, the organization has decided to periodically give some of these shifts to the volunteers. Basically, I was considered one of the “guinea pigs”. All week I had been looking forward to this shift. I had been told by the directors that it was the easiest shift and that I probably wouldn’t have to do much while I was there. Their reassurance was appreciated since the night shift is done in addition to the morning and afternoon shifts already expected of us. The day leading up to the night shift went a little like this:
I spent 7am-Noon in CUNAS, the baby and toddler section of the Catholic Orphanage. A virus has been going around the orphanage this past week so it has been incredibly hectic. There is one worker, Betty, who is incredibly hard on the volunteers even though there is no way they could afford to lose their partnership with OSSO. If you don’t speak Spanish she’ll wipe the floor with you, and if you do speak Spanish she’ll make you wipe the floor for her. I fall into the latter category and so I am constantly led in every direction doing her bidding. Her moodiness is often entertaining and I find amusement in the fact that I am confident enough in my Spanish abilities to send a little bit of sass back her way. Yesterday was amazing because I got to spend almost the entire shift with the newborns. To explain how big of an accomplishment this is, Betty doesn’t let anyone get near the baby room and keeps all that cuteness to herself. Your only hope is that eventually she finds even the slightest aspect of your existance pleasing to her. I had been laying the Spanish jokes on thick all week in hopes of hitting “Baby Status”, and it finally paid off! Aside from losing count changing 30+ diapers, I loved every second of my time with those little angels. The shift ended with over 10 thank-yous and multiple “mijas” from Betty. Overall, I am happy to say it was 5 hours well spent. :)
With a little pep in my step, I headed to CASAS (ages 2-10) for my afternoon shift following the 2-hour lunch break. CASAS is home of the Ecuadorian Circus, or at least it seems like it. If you can recall, this is the group of kids that supports the “little nudist” and the volunteers refer to them as the Ecuadorian Mafia. It is all in good fun since they welcome us with open arms as the “Gringitas”. From 2-6pm I spent all of my energy trying to keep them alive, entertained, and free of bite marks. They are always crazy but I love the opportunity I have to improve my Spanish with them and they do some of the goofiest things that never fail to make me smile. Even if they are exhausting, I love each and every one of those little ninos
At 6pm all of the other volunteers were on their way back to the house on the OSSO bus for the much anticipated Sunday dinner. Brigitta and I, however, had just begun the first of the 13 ½ hours of our night shift. The special needs orphanage is owned and run by OSSO and there are over 30 children there varying in age and capabilities. The children are divided into “houses”; Milagros (miracles), Esperanza (hope), and Alegria (Joy). Milagros is the house I have spent the most time in and I have fallen in love with the kids there. It’s amazing how attached you can become to a child when they are completely reliant on you for everything. I ofcourse don’t know what it is like to be a mom but I can imagine that I have experienced a lot of the same feelings for these kids as a mom does for her own.
By the time Brigitta and I had played with the kids and put all of the children in Milagros and Esperanza to bed, it was about 8:30 pm and we had one more house to put to bed. Alegria is the home with the youngest children. The ages range from 4 weeks-6 years and the only 2 children in the orphanage who are not special needs live there. Nancy is 4 years old and I call her the “mamacita” of the house. She is always aware of the other children and does whatever she can to comfort and love the other kids. Her motherly nature translates into a lot of sass but I absolutely love her for it. A little girl after my own heart Marcelo is the other child there that functions normally. He was just brought to OSSO after his sister who is special needs was taken in. All of the kids in Alegria are so full of life and are doing so incredibly well considering all of the horrible things they have experienced in such a short period of time on this Earth. It took a while to get those little kiddos in bed and I definitely exhausted my knowledge of Spanish Lullabies while I tucked them in. Luckily, they eventually all fell asleep.
The night’s series of random occurances started at about 9:30 pm. After having not eaten since 12, one of the assistant directors surprised us with leftover Fettucine Alfredo and Salad. We were in heaven! While the sole “night Tia” was downstairs cleaning the other 2 houses, we stayed upstairs in Alegria and started a movie. However; the party as short-lived and within 45 minutes, the long day was taking a toll on me. By 10:30 my eyelids were heavy and I had no idea how I was going to stay up for the next 9 hours. We started folding the huge heaps of laundry for all 3 houses and sang along to “Tangled” in an attempt to wake ourselves up a little bit.
11:30 PM is when things started to spiral downhill and we discovered how wrong our preconcieved notions really were. The night shift is anything but “easy”. The following 3 hours proved to be most tiring hours I have had here. The two newborns in Alegria practically took turns crying all throughout the night. It occurred to us after an hour of holding and singing to them that, of course they were never going to sleep through the night. Deana is only 4 weeks old and was found in a trash can 2 weeks ago. She is one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. She cried on and off for over 3 hours. Two bottles and 2 bottles later, I was still consoling her in my arms in the rocking chair. It seemed like forever and my eyelids continued to weigh themselves down as we rocked back and forth. Despite the fact that I had been up for almost 24 hours at that point, I couldn’t imagine why Deana’s mother would want anything other than this sleepless night.
The last five hours of this shift consisted of 1 hour of sleep on the “preschool mats”, 3 loads of laundry, 2 feeding times, 4 lullabies, and another hour in a rocking chair. I am grateful for the amazing “night Tia” who maintained amazing patience as my Spanish went downhillin the wee hours of the morning. I will admit Brigitta and I had plenty of laughs once the delirium set in though! For the first time I knew what it truly must be like to be a mom. I had children counting on me. I changed countless diapers, went through dozens of baby bottles, folded over 50 outfits, chased a monster from a closet, and layed in bed with a little girl as she cried herself to sleep. Throughout it all I wouldn’t sacrifice a single second of it and there was no sweeter moment than seeing all the kids wake up this morning.
While here, I’ve learned the title “Mom” is too freely given. The mothers who abandoned these kids by rivers, in dumpsters, or lost them due to abuse, do not deserve the beautiful little miracles they left behind. So thank you to my own mom. Thank you for being there for me. You earned the title through sleepless nights, lullabies sung, tears, laughter, and endless “I Love You”s.
Here’s to all the moms who stuck it out. Here’s to the unsung heroes.
NIGHTSHIFT ACOMPLISHED :)
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Cinderella and the Hippie Market
"Every job is a self portrait of the person who does it. Autograph your work with excellence."-Unknown
For anyone who is following this at all, I'm SO sorry that I haven't been able to post pictures! Please take my word for it when I say the children are beautiful, the city is fascinating, the landscape is incredible, and the other volunteers are a riot! I honestly wake up every day (to the rooster of course) not even believing that I'm actually in another country in South America! Regardless of the difficulties that I mention from time to time, I wouldn't trade this experience for the world and I love the work I am doing here.
I am taking the time to write about yesterday today because to be blunt, I had such a bad perception of the day last night and I was afraid that all I would do was complain and exaggerate the severity of the situation.....Basically I was in a bad mood. So after 24 hours and a new attitude, I am ready to lay it out there :) My morning shift starting in CASAS (home of the little nudist) and everything went so well! Luckily, I had gained respect after my first shift there and as long as I keep those little kiddos laughing we have a blast! The best part of the afternoon was when all of the Tias came running into the casas and told me that we had to get all of the kids dressed up in their nice clothing. The kids were so excited and kept yelling, "FIESTA! FIESTA!" It was little Dillon's 4th birthday and the nuns had prepared a party for him. It was a "Cars" theme and they had hats, streamers, cake, ice cream, candy, and even little party favors! The kids were in heaven and so cute! I realized that on most days I see the workers at their worst and I was grateful that I had the opportunity to see that they do love these kids and want the best for them. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get any pictures because this particular orphanage strictly prohibits the use of cameras. The volunteers are allowed one picture day while they are here and mine is coming up next week so we definitely take advantage of those days when we get the chance.
Alright, here comes the "kicker" from yesterday. For my afternoon shift it was my group's turn to go to our "off site" for the first time. Off sites are orphanages that are much farther away than our usual 3 that we consistently volunteer at. We frequent these sites twice a week, rather than daily, and we spend 3 of the 4 hours cleaning the horrible conditions. They are usually in poorer and much harsher areas of the city. The volunteers are split into groups and are designated to a specific site. My site is Azogas. A 45-minute drive left me at the foot of the gates I unfortunately learned to dread. I entered a small building filled with 24 children. Amidst the incredible veil of insects and some sort of smog, I saw a collection of 3 rooms, 3 bathrooms, a kitchen, and a living room. The floors were paved with tile and layers of dirt. The walls were colors that no paint store would concoct and the children were alive (which is about all this place was going for). I was shocked. After a brief tour, we got to work. I have never cleaned anything more grotesque in my life. On the bright side, I will be a cleaning champ when I get back! Let's just say the public restroom that I was forced to use in a gas station in India was more sanitary than this orphanage and the volunteers had even come the day before to clean as well!!!!! Ironically, the cleaning was not an issue for me. In fact, it was the best part. Physically, I was fine. Emotionally, this was one of the most draining experiences of my life. I have never interacted with more disrespectful children. Without listing off complaints that are of no importance, just know that my feelings were a result of being unappreciated and overwhelmed. The best part was when I was picking up toys and I mistook a giant centipede for a little boy's toy. Yep....the movement of its giant squirmy body was a dead giveaway for its legitimacy in the live insect world! YUCK!
After sleeping on this entire experience I have come up with an understanding of it all...no matter what the children said or did while we were there, I am going to remember their faces when we left. I was hugged and kissed by little girls who had mocked us all shift. I was hugged by a little boy that had slapped me when I was scrubbing the floors in the kitchen. Even one of the workers cracked a slight smile as I saw complete exhaustion in her eyes. I didn't feel appreciated while I was there, but I know they needed me. Those children don't have any other opportunities to receive the attention and love I can give them. There is only so much that the 2 Tias can do for them when their top priority is just to keep them fed and safe. With hesitation, but a better attitude, we will make that 45-minute drive again tomorrow. Wish me luck!
Now to today! Today! A wonderful wonderful day! I started the morning in an orphanage I hadn't served in yet. The name of this group of special needs children is "Esperanza", meaning hope. There are 7 kids there, all with various disabilities. This set of children are even more dependent than the other sites I have helped in. The story of one of the girls in particular was really difficult for me to hear. At 26 years old, Diana (dee-anna) is living in a special needs orphanage. While always an orphan, she grew up in the all girls orphanage I spent time in earlier this week called HML. She seemed to be a completely normal young woman. At the age of 19, Diana fell unexpectedly and was rushed to the hospital. There, she was diagnosed with a genetic degenerative disease that slowly took all of the motor skills and cognitive abilities that she had been blessed to have all of her life up until that point. 7 years later I sat with her in this home, feeding her, bathing her, braiding her hair, and helping her with any other task that daily life could throw at her. She is the sweetest young woman you will ever meet and it breaks my heart that she can remember what it was like to be normal. She can't communicate at all but as I spoke to her in Spanish I know she can still understand a lot of what I was saying to her. I talk to her differently than the other children there. For some reason, I talk to her like I would anyone else. I guess I am still convinced she's that girl she was before. Her circumstances have changed, but she's still that same girl.
After my morning shift, 3 other girls and I went into town to do some shopping and exploring! After a decent walk we found the "hippie market" and bought a ton of souvenirs. It was so fun bargaining in Spanish and looking at all of the beautiful things that people make. The talent here is amazing and the people of Ecuador are incredible artists in their own right. 4 hours passed by before we started to make our way back and as we did that, we noticed that over 30 tables had been set up all along the streets! Each table was piled beautifully with INSANE amounts of desserts and candies! It was heavenly! We asked one of the people there what was going on and she told us that it was the beginning of an 8 day festival! Ummmm 8 days of amazing desserts???? This is why I love Ecuador. You will all know where to find me every night for the next 8 days ;)
For anyone who is following this at all, I'm SO sorry that I haven't been able to post pictures! Please take my word for it when I say the children are beautiful, the city is fascinating, the landscape is incredible, and the other volunteers are a riot! I honestly wake up every day (to the rooster of course) not even believing that I'm actually in another country in South America! Regardless of the difficulties that I mention from time to time, I wouldn't trade this experience for the world and I love the work I am doing here.
I am taking the time to write about yesterday today because to be blunt, I had such a bad perception of the day last night and I was afraid that all I would do was complain and exaggerate the severity of the situation.....Basically I was in a bad mood. So after 24 hours and a new attitude, I am ready to lay it out there :) My morning shift starting in CASAS (home of the little nudist) and everything went so well! Luckily, I had gained respect after my first shift there and as long as I keep those little kiddos laughing we have a blast! The best part of the afternoon was when all of the Tias came running into the casas and told me that we had to get all of the kids dressed up in their nice clothing. The kids were so excited and kept yelling, "FIESTA! FIESTA!" It was little Dillon's 4th birthday and the nuns had prepared a party for him. It was a "Cars" theme and they had hats, streamers, cake, ice cream, candy, and even little party favors! The kids were in heaven and so cute! I realized that on most days I see the workers at their worst and I was grateful that I had the opportunity to see that they do love these kids and want the best for them. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get any pictures because this particular orphanage strictly prohibits the use of cameras. The volunteers are allowed one picture day while they are here and mine is coming up next week so we definitely take advantage of those days when we get the chance.
Alright, here comes the "kicker" from yesterday. For my afternoon shift it was my group's turn to go to our "off site" for the first time. Off sites are orphanages that are much farther away than our usual 3 that we consistently volunteer at. We frequent these sites twice a week, rather than daily, and we spend 3 of the 4 hours cleaning the horrible conditions. They are usually in poorer and much harsher areas of the city. The volunteers are split into groups and are designated to a specific site. My site is Azogas. A 45-minute drive left me at the foot of the gates I unfortunately learned to dread. I entered a small building filled with 24 children. Amidst the incredible veil of insects and some sort of smog, I saw a collection of 3 rooms, 3 bathrooms, a kitchen, and a living room. The floors were paved with tile and layers of dirt. The walls were colors that no paint store would concoct and the children were alive (which is about all this place was going for). I was shocked. After a brief tour, we got to work. I have never cleaned anything more grotesque in my life. On the bright side, I will be a cleaning champ when I get back! Let's just say the public restroom that I was forced to use in a gas station in India was more sanitary than this orphanage and the volunteers had even come the day before to clean as well!!!!! Ironically, the cleaning was not an issue for me. In fact, it was the best part. Physically, I was fine. Emotionally, this was one of the most draining experiences of my life. I have never interacted with more disrespectful children. Without listing off complaints that are of no importance, just know that my feelings were a result of being unappreciated and overwhelmed. The best part was when I was picking up toys and I mistook a giant centipede for a little boy's toy. Yep....the movement of its giant squirmy body was a dead giveaway for its legitimacy in the live insect world! YUCK!
After sleeping on this entire experience I have come up with an understanding of it all...no matter what the children said or did while we were there, I am going to remember their faces when we left. I was hugged and kissed by little girls who had mocked us all shift. I was hugged by a little boy that had slapped me when I was scrubbing the floors in the kitchen. Even one of the workers cracked a slight smile as I saw complete exhaustion in her eyes. I didn't feel appreciated while I was there, but I know they needed me. Those children don't have any other opportunities to receive the attention and love I can give them. There is only so much that the 2 Tias can do for them when their top priority is just to keep them fed and safe. With hesitation, but a better attitude, we will make that 45-minute drive again tomorrow. Wish me luck!
Now to today! Today! A wonderful wonderful day! I started the morning in an orphanage I hadn't served in yet. The name of this group of special needs children is "Esperanza", meaning hope. There are 7 kids there, all with various disabilities. This set of children are even more dependent than the other sites I have helped in. The story of one of the girls in particular was really difficult for me to hear. At 26 years old, Diana (dee-anna) is living in a special needs orphanage. While always an orphan, she grew up in the all girls orphanage I spent time in earlier this week called HML. She seemed to be a completely normal young woman. At the age of 19, Diana fell unexpectedly and was rushed to the hospital. There, she was diagnosed with a genetic degenerative disease that slowly took all of the motor skills and cognitive abilities that she had been blessed to have all of her life up until that point. 7 years later I sat with her in this home, feeding her, bathing her, braiding her hair, and helping her with any other task that daily life could throw at her. She is the sweetest young woman you will ever meet and it breaks my heart that she can remember what it was like to be normal. She can't communicate at all but as I spoke to her in Spanish I know she can still understand a lot of what I was saying to her. I talk to her differently than the other children there. For some reason, I talk to her like I would anyone else. I guess I am still convinced she's that girl she was before. Her circumstances have changed, but she's still that same girl.
After my morning shift, 3 other girls and I went into town to do some shopping and exploring! After a decent walk we found the "hippie market" and bought a ton of souvenirs. It was so fun bargaining in Spanish and looking at all of the beautiful things that people make. The talent here is amazing and the people of Ecuador are incredible artists in their own right. 4 hours passed by before we started to make our way back and as we did that, we noticed that over 30 tables had been set up all along the streets! Each table was piled beautifully with INSANE amounts of desserts and candies! It was heavenly! We asked one of the people there what was going on and she told us that it was the beginning of an 8 day festival! Ummmm 8 days of amazing desserts???? This is why I love Ecuador. You will all know where to find me every night for the next 8 days ;)
Monday, June 20, 2011
Catholic Nuns and Nudists
"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it." -Bill Cosby
The infamous rooster woke me up bright and early again today. For some reason I feel that Ecuadorian roosters are far more persistant and much louder than the few I’ve come in contact with in the United States. However; my knowledge of farm animals is pretty minimal. Other than spending my extra hour in the morning figuring out how to get rid of “el diablo”, I have now turned to more worthwhile activities. Making legitimate breakfasts, doing laundry, writing in my journal, and maybe even taking a morning run have made the list so far. Until that rooster meets his match, I will be incredibly productive. :)
Today was the longest day I have had here so far. Not because it was unbearable by any means. I mean it was the longest day as in a time’s sense. I had two shifts as usual, as well as a site visit to an all girls orphanage immediately after my afternoon shift. My morning shift was in CASAS, which houses the children ages 3-9 in the Catholic orphanage. I felt pretty confident going into it, but yet again because I know Spanish and some of the trainers have been sick, I was left alone on my first shift on new territory. I had heard horror stories up until now about the kids having a tendency to mock the volunteers. I recognized right away that this was because most of the volunteers can’t understand what the kids are saying and therefore, can’t tease back. Within the first hour I not only mastered this skill, but also scolded someone in Spanish, and can I just say…IT WAS INVIGORATING! Haha I had always seen and heard people speaking angrily in Spanish on telenovelas at home when I would flip through channels and usually thought to myself how much more intense these heated arguments sound in another language. So today, I had the opportunity to “live the dream” ;). In CASAS there are seven kids. Thank goodness the two 8 and 9-year old boys go to school in the morning. The ten minutes they were there before school started was a nightmare! They are very much so the ring leaders of an incredibly energetic circus! After they went to school, I was left with 5. To set the scene of my own personal telenovela, please imagine me trying to get everyone ready for their baths in a small room after they were given their “papilla” (snack) that was jam-packed with sugar. Then imagine an overcast sky with temperatures well below warm. At this point I have a naked little Ecuadorian boy who sees a bird, leaps over the fence, and chases it all throughout the garden and playground in the center of the CATHOLIC orphanage. Did I mention that the nuns had just arrived in a prestinely sophisticated single-file line as Dilon streaked by? No big deal. I’m pretty sure I lost all validity as a useful “tia” at that point. Let’s be honest, I was holding back a huge smile and laughter like you wouldn’t believe when I saw everything unfold. Be impressed by the fact that I managed to keep a straight face and a stern tone when I said something my mom always told me when I was a little girl…”TE HAS PERDIDO TU MENTE?” (yes, Dilon had lost his mind). All in all, the whole fiasco ended with the little nudist running hom, empty-handed, and almost in tears because it was so cold!! OH what a morning! haha.
The rest of the shift at CASAS was pretty hectic, but we managed to get everything done that we needed to. Afterwards, all of the volunteers left their individual sights and went back to the OSSO house for lunch. Lunch is the only meal that Catalina, the cook, makes for us and it always makes me smile. No matter what she serves, rice is ALWAYS included. Yesterday we were given “papas fritas” (french fries) with a side of rice. It couldn’t get anymore random, but I love it! Following lunch, I was able to take a much needed 30 minute nap before we left again for the afternoon shift. My 2nd shift was in Milagros for the second time with the special needs children. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this orphanage. In such a short period of time I have become so close with all of them, even if only 2 of them are able to truly respond and communicate with me. We spent most of the time outside in the sun and I was able to take both Martin and Laurita into the PT room and do their therapies. We do therapies with each individual special needs child based on the capabilities of their limbs. Martin and Laurita both get out of their wheel chairs and use their arm strength to pull themselves up a wooden slide and pull themselves from one side of the room to other while clinging to ballet bars. They did so well today and I couldn’t believe how excited they got when they hit their hands on the wall at the top of the slide. I kept saying “Muestrame tu sonrisa!” and they would show me their biggest smiles. It was such a great day, but even the best days take a toll on you here. Near the end of my second shift I was completely drained and I still had to feed the kids dinner, brush their teeth, and put them in their pajamas. I was trying to find even the smallest victories in the last few tasks of the day so that I could keep myself going. During dinner there is one boy that I have to help more than the others. He struggles with basic motor skills so our biggest battle is just to keep him using his spoon and doing his best to get it even remotely close to his mouth. We put his small plate in a large bowl and hold it in order to contain most of the mess, but almost every time, he manages to flip the bowl and get it all over himself and the volunteer. After he finished the majority of his food this time, I was so proud of Jorge because although he was messy as usual, he hadn’t let his bowl topple to the ground and my white shirt was in prestine condition! I was so happy that I was cheering him on and telling him how fantastic he did as I spoon-fed the last few bites to him. He was so excited that he surprised me with a huge hug and smeared his messy face all across my shirt. I stood their completely shocked and everyone waited for my reaction in silence. I burst out laughing! Just when I thought I needed to be cut a break, I was given the exact opposite and it actually turned out to be a blessing! All of these kids constantly remind me of what really matters and the patience that I have learned here has already changed me for the better! I love it here :)
On our way out of Milagros tonight I had a chance to say goodnight to all of the kids and cuddle with Laurita as Martin told me about his girlfriend who he described to me as having blue skin? My goal is to have a movie night and show him Avatar before we leave! Haha they say the funniest things sometimes. From Milagros, we got on a bus and went directly to the other side of the city to HML which is an all-girls orphanage. We visit this orphanage every Monday and Thursday night and just do an activity with the girls for an hour or so. This was my frist time there and I spent the hour with Rosa and Rosita. These little girls were so full of life and so happy to see us. They don’t have an opportunity to interact with girls near their age or volunteers in general other than our bi-weekly visits. They are in a much poorer area and lack the kind of attention that we are able to give so easily to the other orphanages that our closer to us. I am so grateful for the ability I have to communicate with these girls in Spanish. Some days I truly don’t even know where I learned to speak the way I have been speaking here. At times I even say things I don’t ever remember learning in school, but I am able to be closer to the kids because of it. I would label today as the best day yet and I’m so looking forward to visiting more of the orphanages in the next few weeks and becoming more comfortable in the ones I have already had the opportunity to spend time in. For now, Buenas Noches :)
The infamous rooster woke me up bright and early again today. For some reason I feel that Ecuadorian roosters are far more persistant and much louder than the few I’ve come in contact with in the United States. However; my knowledge of farm animals is pretty minimal. Other than spending my extra hour in the morning figuring out how to get rid of “el diablo”, I have now turned to more worthwhile activities. Making legitimate breakfasts, doing laundry, writing in my journal, and maybe even taking a morning run have made the list so far. Until that rooster meets his match, I will be incredibly productive. :)
Today was the longest day I have had here so far. Not because it was unbearable by any means. I mean it was the longest day as in a time’s sense. I had two shifts as usual, as well as a site visit to an all girls orphanage immediately after my afternoon shift. My morning shift was in CASAS, which houses the children ages 3-9 in the Catholic orphanage. I felt pretty confident going into it, but yet again because I know Spanish and some of the trainers have been sick, I was left alone on my first shift on new territory. I had heard horror stories up until now about the kids having a tendency to mock the volunteers. I recognized right away that this was because most of the volunteers can’t understand what the kids are saying and therefore, can’t tease back. Within the first hour I not only mastered this skill, but also scolded someone in Spanish, and can I just say…IT WAS INVIGORATING! Haha I had always seen and heard people speaking angrily in Spanish on telenovelas at home when I would flip through channels and usually thought to myself how much more intense these heated arguments sound in another language. So today, I had the opportunity to “live the dream” ;). In CASAS there are seven kids. Thank goodness the two 8 and 9-year old boys go to school in the morning. The ten minutes they were there before school started was a nightmare! They are very much so the ring leaders of an incredibly energetic circus! After they went to school, I was left with 5. To set the scene of my own personal telenovela, please imagine me trying to get everyone ready for their baths in a small room after they were given their “papilla” (snack) that was jam-packed with sugar. Then imagine an overcast sky with temperatures well below warm. At this point I have a naked little Ecuadorian boy who sees a bird, leaps over the fence, and chases it all throughout the garden and playground in the center of the CATHOLIC orphanage. Did I mention that the nuns had just arrived in a prestinely sophisticated single-file line as Dilon streaked by? No big deal. I’m pretty sure I lost all validity as a useful “tia” at that point. Let’s be honest, I was holding back a huge smile and laughter like you wouldn’t believe when I saw everything unfold. Be impressed by the fact that I managed to keep a straight face and a stern tone when I said something my mom always told me when I was a little girl…”TE HAS PERDIDO TU MENTE?” (yes, Dilon had lost his mind). All in all, the whole fiasco ended with the little nudist running hom, empty-handed, and almost in tears because it was so cold!! OH what a morning! haha.
The rest of the shift at CASAS was pretty hectic, but we managed to get everything done that we needed to. Afterwards, all of the volunteers left their individual sights and went back to the OSSO house for lunch. Lunch is the only meal that Catalina, the cook, makes for us and it always makes me smile. No matter what she serves, rice is ALWAYS included. Yesterday we were given “papas fritas” (french fries) with a side of rice. It couldn’t get anymore random, but I love it! Following lunch, I was able to take a much needed 30 minute nap before we left again for the afternoon shift. My 2nd shift was in Milagros for the second time with the special needs children. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this orphanage. In such a short period of time I have become so close with all of them, even if only 2 of them are able to truly respond and communicate with me. We spent most of the time outside in the sun and I was able to take both Martin and Laurita into the PT room and do their therapies. We do therapies with each individual special needs child based on the capabilities of their limbs. Martin and Laurita both get out of their wheel chairs and use their arm strength to pull themselves up a wooden slide and pull themselves from one side of the room to other while clinging to ballet bars. They did so well today and I couldn’t believe how excited they got when they hit their hands on the wall at the top of the slide. I kept saying “Muestrame tu sonrisa!” and they would show me their biggest smiles. It was such a great day, but even the best days take a toll on you here. Near the end of my second shift I was completely drained and I still had to feed the kids dinner, brush their teeth, and put them in their pajamas. I was trying to find even the smallest victories in the last few tasks of the day so that I could keep myself going. During dinner there is one boy that I have to help more than the others. He struggles with basic motor skills so our biggest battle is just to keep him using his spoon and doing his best to get it even remotely close to his mouth. We put his small plate in a large bowl and hold it in order to contain most of the mess, but almost every time, he manages to flip the bowl and get it all over himself and the volunteer. After he finished the majority of his food this time, I was so proud of Jorge because although he was messy as usual, he hadn’t let his bowl topple to the ground and my white shirt was in prestine condition! I was so happy that I was cheering him on and telling him how fantastic he did as I spoon-fed the last few bites to him. He was so excited that he surprised me with a huge hug and smeared his messy face all across my shirt. I stood their completely shocked and everyone waited for my reaction in silence. I burst out laughing! Just when I thought I needed to be cut a break, I was given the exact opposite and it actually turned out to be a blessing! All of these kids constantly remind me of what really matters and the patience that I have learned here has already changed me for the better! I love it here :)
On our way out of Milagros tonight I had a chance to say goodnight to all of the kids and cuddle with Laurita as Martin told me about his girlfriend who he described to me as having blue skin? My goal is to have a movie night and show him Avatar before we leave! Haha they say the funniest things sometimes. From Milagros, we got on a bus and went directly to the other side of the city to HML which is an all-girls orphanage. We visit this orphanage every Monday and Thursday night and just do an activity with the girls for an hour or so. This was my frist time there and I spent the hour with Rosa and Rosita. These little girls were so full of life and so happy to see us. They don’t have an opportunity to interact with girls near their age or volunteers in general other than our bi-weekly visits. They are in a much poorer area and lack the kind of attention that we are able to give so easily to the other orphanages that our closer to us. I am so grateful for the ability I have to communicate with these girls in Spanish. Some days I truly don’t even know where I learned to speak the way I have been speaking here. At times I even say things I don’t ever remember learning in school, but I am able to be closer to the kids because of it. I would label today as the best day yet and I’m so looking forward to visiting more of the orphanages in the next few weeks and becoming more comfortable in the ones I have already had the opportunity to spend time in. For now, Buenas Noches :)
Sunday, June 19, 2011
The Slit in the Gate
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." -- Robert Brault
For my entire life, the majority of my Sundays have been fairly predictable. Routine consists of waking up, getting ready, going to church, and then coming home to relax and have Sunday dinner as a family. As I sit in my bed thousands of miles from home tonight, I've realized that nothing about today was predictable. In fact, until about 4 this afternoon I had completely forgotten what day of the week it was. Sleep is an incredible luxury that we all choose over wasting time getting ready. Regardless of how tired we are, any time you spend trying to look nice is quickly counteracted by the first hour of work with the babies or special needs kids. Luckily these kids love us no matter how pathetic we may look throughout the day!
I'll go through a little bit of my schedule today, moreso for myself so that I can remember as much as I can about this experience when I look back. I woke up at about 6 am this morning and got everyhing ready to go by about 6:30 so that I had a few minutes for breakfast. Here in the volunteer house we have huge baskets full of fruit and tupperwares full of speacialty bread. Every Tuesday and Friday these are replenished at the food market and panaderia by girls who have been put on the food committee. The fruit is so amazing here and you wouldn't believe how much we go through here! After breakfast, all of the girls who have a morning shift get on the bus at 7am and we are dropped of at a central point equadistant to the majority of the orphanages where we serve. To explain shifts, each girl has a 5 hour morning shift and a 5 hour afternoon shift. So from 7am-6pm we are working except for the break for lunch in between the two shifts. Three times a week, each volunteer is given an "off" where we will only work one of the two shifts for the day. None of the girls ever recieve a complete day off, but we enjoy the occasional shifts we are given to rest throughout the week :)
On Sundays the girls rotate on the schedule in order to determine who will be able to attend church each week. Two girls are usually given the morning shift as an "off" and then half of the girls have a star by their shift dictating either 8 am or 10 am church and that is the time they will be able to leave their shift for an hour to attend that specific Sacrament meeting. This Sunday, I had a scheduled shift this morning without a star so it wasn't my turn for church. But I have been told we rotate about every three weeks so I will have the opportunity to go at least once while I'm here. My morning shift was in the OSSO Milagros orphanage (meaning Miracles). I was so excited because it is a special needs orphanage and they need a lot of help there. When I got there, I was told that one of the girls working in the other orphanage was sick and so they took my trainer and placed her over there to take her place. Since I am one of the few girls who speaks Spanish, they felt I would stand a better chance on my own than someone else. I was nervous to work at one of the more dependent places for the first time alone, but the Ecuadorian OSSO workers were very patient with me and I understood the majority of what they asked of me.
Milagros houses 8 kids who all suffer from cerebral palsy. They need help with every task including eating, bathing, brushing their teeth, and moving in and out of their wheelchairs. Two of the boys understand all english and will answer in spanish and one little girl can speak spanish but the rest of the kids rely on their facial expressions to express their feelings. I'll describe more of them individually as I spend more time with them, but for now I'll introduce two of them.
The first, is Luiz (aka Guapo). I say Guapo (meaning handsome) because this is the only name Luiz will answer to :P. Luiz has autism and is high functioning in terms of basic tasks like eating and walking, however, he fears all social situations and for the most part we have to leave him on his own and interact with him from a far because he has a tendency to be more violent. He always has something in his hands and is always observing things going on around him. After he gets to know you more he will run up to you and kiss your shoulder and run away as fast as he can. He is so fun to talk to even though he doesn't answer other than with his special little kisses :)
Laurita was the little girl who gave me my daily dose of perspective today. Laurita is fifteen years old. She loves coloring, french braids, bracelets, and smiling. She is absolutely adorable and loves it when the volunteers cuddle with her. She made a point to learn my name immediately even though "annon" is all she could get out :) During activity time where we wheeled them all outside in the sun, I took Laurita on a walk. As we passed by the front gate, Laurita insisted that we stop for a while. I helped her out of her chair and we played with the weeds and rocks on the warm concrete. I was quizing her on her colors and numbers when all of a sudden she threw herself onto the gate and squeezed her face into the thin slit in the gate. I asked her what she was staring at but she batted her hand in my direction and remained concentrated. After a few minutes of silence she whispered, "mama". Thinking I must have heard her wrong, I asked her to repeat it. A little louder now she said, "mama". She pulled her little face away from the gate and I noticed an imprint left from the slit as well as tears welling up in her eyes. She pointed saying "mira" and I looked. At the bus stop across the street there was a woman in a bright red skirt. I asked her who she was and Laurita covered her eyes and said it was her mom. Both of us knew full well that the woman she saw was not her mom. Laurita's mom had left her when she was a baby because she felt incapable of handling her disabilities. Still thinking I must have misunderstood what she was getting at I asked the worker if Laurita might have been referring to something else. As if it were nothing, the worker told me that Laurita goes to that slit every day and hopes to see a woman at the bus stop. And every day she hopes that the woman she sees is her mother. The entire way home I thought about how much these children's parents are missing out on and it hurts me to know that these children actually realize their circumstances.
When I got home I had an "off" for the afternoon and was able to take a much needed nap. I woke up to the most intense rainstorm! Needless to say, I was in HEAVEN! I ran up to the balcony and just sat in it for a while before the other girls and I started Sunday dinner. Even though it wasn't what I was used to, I'm grateful for my Ecuadorian Sunday :)
For my entire life, the majority of my Sundays have been fairly predictable. Routine consists of waking up, getting ready, going to church, and then coming home to relax and have Sunday dinner as a family. As I sit in my bed thousands of miles from home tonight, I've realized that nothing about today was predictable. In fact, until about 4 this afternoon I had completely forgotten what day of the week it was. Sleep is an incredible luxury that we all choose over wasting time getting ready. Regardless of how tired we are, any time you spend trying to look nice is quickly counteracted by the first hour of work with the babies or special needs kids. Luckily these kids love us no matter how pathetic we may look throughout the day!
I'll go through a little bit of my schedule today, moreso for myself so that I can remember as much as I can about this experience when I look back. I woke up at about 6 am this morning and got everyhing ready to go by about 6:30 so that I had a few minutes for breakfast. Here in the volunteer house we have huge baskets full of fruit and tupperwares full of speacialty bread. Every Tuesday and Friday these are replenished at the food market and panaderia by girls who have been put on the food committee. The fruit is so amazing here and you wouldn't believe how much we go through here! After breakfast, all of the girls who have a morning shift get on the bus at 7am and we are dropped of at a central point equadistant to the majority of the orphanages where we serve. To explain shifts, each girl has a 5 hour morning shift and a 5 hour afternoon shift. So from 7am-6pm we are working except for the break for lunch in between the two shifts. Three times a week, each volunteer is given an "off" where we will only work one of the two shifts for the day. None of the girls ever recieve a complete day off, but we enjoy the occasional shifts we are given to rest throughout the week :)
On Sundays the girls rotate on the schedule in order to determine who will be able to attend church each week. Two girls are usually given the morning shift as an "off" and then half of the girls have a star by their shift dictating either 8 am or 10 am church and that is the time they will be able to leave their shift for an hour to attend that specific Sacrament meeting. This Sunday, I had a scheduled shift this morning without a star so it wasn't my turn for church. But I have been told we rotate about every three weeks so I will have the opportunity to go at least once while I'm here. My morning shift was in the OSSO Milagros orphanage (meaning Miracles). I was so excited because it is a special needs orphanage and they need a lot of help there. When I got there, I was told that one of the girls working in the other orphanage was sick and so they took my trainer and placed her over there to take her place. Since I am one of the few girls who speaks Spanish, they felt I would stand a better chance on my own than someone else. I was nervous to work at one of the more dependent places for the first time alone, but the Ecuadorian OSSO workers were very patient with me and I understood the majority of what they asked of me.
Milagros houses 8 kids who all suffer from cerebral palsy. They need help with every task including eating, bathing, brushing their teeth, and moving in and out of their wheelchairs. Two of the boys understand all english and will answer in spanish and one little girl can speak spanish but the rest of the kids rely on their facial expressions to express their feelings. I'll describe more of them individually as I spend more time with them, but for now I'll introduce two of them.
The first, is Luiz (aka Guapo). I say Guapo (meaning handsome) because this is the only name Luiz will answer to :P. Luiz has autism and is high functioning in terms of basic tasks like eating and walking, however, he fears all social situations and for the most part we have to leave him on his own and interact with him from a far because he has a tendency to be more violent. He always has something in his hands and is always observing things going on around him. After he gets to know you more he will run up to you and kiss your shoulder and run away as fast as he can. He is so fun to talk to even though he doesn't answer other than with his special little kisses :)
Laurita was the little girl who gave me my daily dose of perspective today. Laurita is fifteen years old. She loves coloring, french braids, bracelets, and smiling. She is absolutely adorable and loves it when the volunteers cuddle with her. She made a point to learn my name immediately even though "annon" is all she could get out :) During activity time where we wheeled them all outside in the sun, I took Laurita on a walk. As we passed by the front gate, Laurita insisted that we stop for a while. I helped her out of her chair and we played with the weeds and rocks on the warm concrete. I was quizing her on her colors and numbers when all of a sudden she threw herself onto the gate and squeezed her face into the thin slit in the gate. I asked her what she was staring at but she batted her hand in my direction and remained concentrated. After a few minutes of silence she whispered, "mama". Thinking I must have heard her wrong, I asked her to repeat it. A little louder now she said, "mama". She pulled her little face away from the gate and I noticed an imprint left from the slit as well as tears welling up in her eyes. She pointed saying "mira" and I looked. At the bus stop across the street there was a woman in a bright red skirt. I asked her who she was and Laurita covered her eyes and said it was her mom. Both of us knew full well that the woman she saw was not her mom. Laurita's mom had left her when she was a baby because she felt incapable of handling her disabilities. Still thinking I must have misunderstood what she was getting at I asked the worker if Laurita might have been referring to something else. As if it were nothing, the worker told me that Laurita goes to that slit every day and hopes to see a woman at the bus stop. And every day she hopes that the woman she sees is her mother. The entire way home I thought about how much these children's parents are missing out on and it hurts me to know that these children actually realize their circumstances.
When I got home I had an "off" for the afternoon and was able to take a much needed nap. I woke up to the most intense rainstorm! Needless to say, I was in HEAVEN! I ran up to the balcony and just sat in it for a while before the other girls and I started Sunday dinner. Even though it wasn't what I was used to, I'm grateful for my Ecuadorian Sunday :)
Forgotten Angels
"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat . . . We must find each other." -Mother Teresa
Today I experienced something I would have never expected. As much as I was to say I was prepared for this month in Ecuador I always knew that it was going to be difficult at times. Today was one of those times. Let’s forget the fact that a group of roosters who apparantly frequent our street woke me up at 5 AM. Some of the girls and I spent the first 30 minutes of the day plotting their demise for if we ever came within close enough range. Then, in a matter of 6 hours I was thrown up on, drooled on, slapped, pinched, pooped on, hugged, kissed, cuddled with, and loved. There was no way to explain the emotioanl highs and lows that I went through in such a short amount of time. As much as I wanted to be impatient and give up after the 35th diaper change before 10 AM, for some reason I found myself falling in love with 13 little angels. Both of my shifts today were spent at the CUNAS orphanage. The “cunas” are children ranging from newborns to 2 years old. Starting at 7 am the children and volunteers were on a very strict schedule. Within the first 4 hours there are 3 changing times, 2 activities, and 3 feeding times. As one of the few Spanish speakers I receive all of the directions given by the nuns and I’m held accountable for relaying everything correctly to the other colunteers and making sure it gets done. The workers in the Catholic orphanages lack sympathy for those who do not speak English. I’ve often found myself having to defend the other girls and insist that they show more patience with us. It is very difficult to find a medium between the cold and efficient methods of the native workers, and the loving but less experienced ways of the volunteers.
Stress and frustration is inevitable when you find yourself working harder than you ever have before in a country you are completely unfamiliar with. I’m blessed with the opportunity to have discovered motiviation after only the first day. While we changed diapers and played with the kids in the “sala” this morning, one of the long term volunteers started telling me stories about each individual child. To give you an idea of what kind of angels I’m spending my days with, I’ll introduce a few of the kids to you. Due to Ecuadorian law, however, the volunteers only have the opportunity to take pictures in this particular orphanage once every two weeks so I won’t have any until next week.
Juanito is the first little boy I met today. I caught him right as he was waking up and got to be the first person he set his big brown eyes on this morning. Juanito is the sweetheart of the group. At about 10 months old you can often find him sharing all of his toys with the other children and licking all of the volunteers (these are his besos, aka kisses). Because of his sweet nature and love for people around him, Juan suffers from intense separation anxiety and cannot function when he feels he is alone or unnoticed. This beautiful little baby was found when he was 2 weeks old abandoned on the side of the river. His parents will never know what they missed, but I’m so grateful that I have been given the opportunity to love this little angel.
Paul (pronounced pa-oool) is the comedian of the bunch and I also refer to him as “mi amor”, which he loves. At almost 2 years old he is bursting with personality and spends his days doing anything he can to get a laugh out of the volunteers. His hair is often slicked back and he wears a giant moviestar smile! He is credited with being the child most often placed in time out haha. He’s a hitter and a biter, but also a smooth talker. He can charm his way out of anything and after every scrath or bite he gives kissesand hugs me. Regardless of his antics, he has got to be one of my favorite little boys and he is going to take this world by storm someday Paul Is the only true orphan in the CUNAS orphanage, meaning both of his parents have passed away. Only one month after he was born, his parents were killed in a car crash. It was heartwrenching to see a child so full of life and indoubtedly so loved by his own parents, living in an orphanage. For a brief moment I felt like I understood just a piece of what he was going through as I thought of my own Dad who never wanted to leave this Earth or me. I just wish that Paul had known his parents long enough to have remembered them. Paul is an incredible example to me and his love for life at only 2 years old is a constant reminder of how close these children are to the Savior in their mindsets. I’m so grateful for the atonement and the knowledge I have that families can be together forever.
There are so many kids in this one orphanage alone that will make an incredible impact on my world while I am in Ecuador but one little girl in particular today made me feel like I had a purpose here. She made me recognize that what I’m doing here truly matters and that’s just what I needed to find on my first day of volunteering here. The work is hard and often discouraging.
Maria Los Angeles is the oldest baby in CUNAS at 2 years old. Uniquely, she is also the smallest. Maria suffers from fetal alcohol syndrome; the result of her birth mother’s selfishness and irresponsibility. To describe her, she truly looks identical to a beautifully flawless porcelin doll. To put scale into your minds, her hands are only slightly bigger than the cap of a water bottle. I was told before I left for my shift this morning that this little girl is very independent and often keeps to herself. She has yet to mutter a single word and rarely answers yes or no questions with the movement of her head. Eye contact with her is both a rare and coveted opportunity amongst all of the volunteers and few long term volunteers can think of a time when it has happened. When I got to my shift I was informed that Maria was feeling sick already and I was given the low down on her already existing condition. Because of her birth defects, when overly stressed or during crying spouts, Maria will occasionally pass out. First day on the job, this is exactly what happened. As she slipped into her seizure-like state, I frantically ran to the bathroom and threw water onto her face to get her back. After drenching her, she came to and began to sob. The way she cries is different. There’s no sound and her face stays unusually composed. For over a half hour she lay in my arms with her eyes closed and I watched as tears streamed down her tiny cheeks. The entire time I was holding her I desperately wished that her mom could have come and comforted her. That’s when it clicked. She had never experienced the comfort of a mother.Nobody was going to come to her rescue and pick her up from “day care”. I was it. Her tiny body lying in my arms was her only comfort. Just as tears started trickling down my face, I wiped some of the tears from hers. At that exact moment she looked up and stared me straight in the eyes and held her gaze for well over a minute. It was easily one of the best moments I’ve ever had in my life. The tears continued for another half hour but she fell asleep eventually and we stayed in the corner of the “sala” in that same position for another hour until my shift ended. It’s strange after only one day to feel this way, but I would give my life for that little girl. I have fallen in love with Ecuador <3
Today I experienced something I would have never expected. As much as I was to say I was prepared for this month in Ecuador I always knew that it was going to be difficult at times. Today was one of those times. Let’s forget the fact that a group of roosters who apparantly frequent our street woke me up at 5 AM. Some of the girls and I spent the first 30 minutes of the day plotting their demise for if we ever came within close enough range. Then, in a matter of 6 hours I was thrown up on, drooled on, slapped, pinched, pooped on, hugged, kissed, cuddled with, and loved. There was no way to explain the emotioanl highs and lows that I went through in such a short amount of time. As much as I wanted to be impatient and give up after the 35th diaper change before 10 AM, for some reason I found myself falling in love with 13 little angels. Both of my shifts today were spent at the CUNAS orphanage. The “cunas” are children ranging from newborns to 2 years old. Starting at 7 am the children and volunteers were on a very strict schedule. Within the first 4 hours there are 3 changing times, 2 activities, and 3 feeding times. As one of the few Spanish speakers I receive all of the directions given by the nuns and I’m held accountable for relaying everything correctly to the other colunteers and making sure it gets done. The workers in the Catholic orphanages lack sympathy for those who do not speak English. I’ve often found myself having to defend the other girls and insist that they show more patience with us. It is very difficult to find a medium between the cold and efficient methods of the native workers, and the loving but less experienced ways of the volunteers.
Stress and frustration is inevitable when you find yourself working harder than you ever have before in a country you are completely unfamiliar with. I’m blessed with the opportunity to have discovered motiviation after only the first day. While we changed diapers and played with the kids in the “sala” this morning, one of the long term volunteers started telling me stories about each individual child. To give you an idea of what kind of angels I’m spending my days with, I’ll introduce a few of the kids to you. Due to Ecuadorian law, however, the volunteers only have the opportunity to take pictures in this particular orphanage once every two weeks so I won’t have any until next week.
Juanito is the first little boy I met today. I caught him right as he was waking up and got to be the first person he set his big brown eyes on this morning. Juanito is the sweetheart of the group. At about 10 months old you can often find him sharing all of his toys with the other children and licking all of the volunteers (these are his besos, aka kisses). Because of his sweet nature and love for people around him, Juan suffers from intense separation anxiety and cannot function when he feels he is alone or unnoticed. This beautiful little baby was found when he was 2 weeks old abandoned on the side of the river. His parents will never know what they missed, but I’m so grateful that I have been given the opportunity to love this little angel.
Paul (pronounced pa-oool) is the comedian of the bunch and I also refer to him as “mi amor”, which he loves. At almost 2 years old he is bursting with personality and spends his days doing anything he can to get a laugh out of the volunteers. His hair is often slicked back and he wears a giant moviestar smile! He is credited with being the child most often placed in time out haha. He’s a hitter and a biter, but also a smooth talker. He can charm his way out of anything and after every scrath or bite he gives kissesand hugs me. Regardless of his antics, he has got to be one of my favorite little boys and he is going to take this world by storm someday Paul Is the only true orphan in the CUNAS orphanage, meaning both of his parents have passed away. Only one month after he was born, his parents were killed in a car crash. It was heartwrenching to see a child so full of life and indoubtedly so loved by his own parents, living in an orphanage. For a brief moment I felt like I understood just a piece of what he was going through as I thought of my own Dad who never wanted to leave this Earth or me. I just wish that Paul had known his parents long enough to have remembered them. Paul is an incredible example to me and his love for life at only 2 years old is a constant reminder of how close these children are to the Savior in their mindsets. I’m so grateful for the atonement and the knowledge I have that families can be together forever.
There are so many kids in this one orphanage alone that will make an incredible impact on my world while I am in Ecuador but one little girl in particular today made me feel like I had a purpose here. She made me recognize that what I’m doing here truly matters and that’s just what I needed to find on my first day of volunteering here. The work is hard and often discouraging.
Maria Los Angeles is the oldest baby in CUNAS at 2 years old. Uniquely, she is also the smallest. Maria suffers from fetal alcohol syndrome; the result of her birth mother’s selfishness and irresponsibility. To describe her, she truly looks identical to a beautifully flawless porcelin doll. To put scale into your minds, her hands are only slightly bigger than the cap of a water bottle. I was told before I left for my shift this morning that this little girl is very independent and often keeps to herself. She has yet to mutter a single word and rarely answers yes or no questions with the movement of her head. Eye contact with her is both a rare and coveted opportunity amongst all of the volunteers and few long term volunteers can think of a time when it has happened. When I got to my shift I was informed that Maria was feeling sick already and I was given the low down on her already existing condition. Because of her birth defects, when overly stressed or during crying spouts, Maria will occasionally pass out. First day on the job, this is exactly what happened. As she slipped into her seizure-like state, I frantically ran to the bathroom and threw water onto her face to get her back. After drenching her, she came to and began to sob. The way she cries is different. There’s no sound and her face stays unusually composed. For over a half hour she lay in my arms with her eyes closed and I watched as tears streamed down her tiny cheeks. The entire time I was holding her I desperately wished that her mom could have come and comforted her. That’s when it clicked. She had never experienced the comfort of a mother.Nobody was going to come to her rescue and pick her up from “day care”. I was it. Her tiny body lying in my arms was her only comfort. Just as tears started trickling down my face, I wiped some of the tears from hers. At that exact moment she looked up and stared me straight in the eyes and held her gaze for well over a minute. It was easily one of the best moments I’ve ever had in my life. The tears continued for another half hour but she fell asleep eventually and we stayed in the corner of the “sala” in that same position for another hour until my shift ended. It’s strange after only one day to feel this way, but I would give my life for that little girl. I have fallen in love with Ecuador <3
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